Hey guys, I know this topic has been hashed and rehashed, but I need a conversation with my own circumstances, so hear me out please! I am a closeted bi guy, and I am in college. This semester, there's a kid in my salsa class, who I think is kinda cute. Anyway, I kinda didn't pay any attention to him until he began to talk to me in class, then he began to practice dance moves with me, making me take the position of the girl. Anyway, I thought he was just joking around, but whenever we get together for salsa class, we're inseparable, and we're always touching. He walks with me after class, and we always walk really close together, kinda bumping into each other. Anyway, so I got his number, and I try to text him. But he always lets the conversation go flat, and replies with one word answers, like "yes...nope...lol" And at parties, he hangs out with his group of friends, and I with mine, and we talk briefly. But, in salsa class, he talks to me forever, and always walks with me after class, where he talks to me nonstop like we've known each other forever, even though its only been 3 months. Anyway, 3 months have passed, and I definitely have a really big crush on him, but I have no idea if he's into guys or not. I guess my biggest thing is that I'm not good looking at all, and I'm chubby, so I figure that there's no way he'd pick me if he was into guys, especially because he has a muscular wrestler build and stuff. But i just want to know, and I don't know if it is worth the risk to come out to him and ask him if he likes me. If it is, how can I go about doing this, or hinting at him that I'm into guys and I'm into him specifically?
This situation is fairly common. It sounds to me like he loves the attention, and feels safe in that environment. He maybe gay or bi, but not ready to go any further. I generally accept it when I feel it is going nowhere, and I begin to avoid the person, or not let them keep up the dance and no romance. Sometimes, very rarely, they will seek you out in other places after you have rejected their continued flirting in that one place, but this is not common. I would enjoy it for what it is in that class, or not. But try and move on emotionally and physically if you can. Don't let it get you depressed and feeling rejected.
So how do i stop myself from texting him, or talking to him? I'm just so drawn to him and idk what to do!
don't preoccupy your mind with thoughts of him. Focus on the bigger picture in your life... like 3 months ago before that guy even existed in your life. Your focus was to go to salsa dance classes to begin with right. Each day before you go in, remind yourself what exactly it is that you came there for. and then follow up on Jeff's ^^ advice.
