Idk if anyone has had a similar issue or not, but I figured I'd see if anyone could help. I have extremely low self esteem and it really affecting my dating life. I just met a guy that seems really cool, and I really don't wanna screw things up. I just don't find my self attractive in the least bit, and I constantly feel like I'm saying the wrong things. My friends tell me I am attractive and a fun cool person, but I just don't feel like it. I litteraly hate almost everything about myself. I guess it's really nothing that anybody can help me with, but I figured I'd see.
I've got the same problem! ^5!!!! Really, I'd just go with it. People other than yourself know you best. Just tell him that you have low self esteem. Maybe he'll be able to talk to you and make you more comfortable. It's usually issues in your life that affected you a lot. For me, it's my parent's divorce and constant bullying I get. I just in the end got sensitive and didn't really know how to socialize or deal with emotional pain.
I was bullied a lot in school as well (an I didn't even come out lol) so maybe that has something to do with it. And it doesn't help that he is extremely attractive either lol. I know that's a good thing that he is, but it makes me that much more worried about myself.
My self-esteem is pretty much non-existent. I avoid mirrors in public, and avoid looking at my reflection in windows, etc. because I just don't like the person staring back at me. I am a quiet, reserved and introverted person in general and that just makes it so much harder to start conversations with people. However, I find that the more I push myself, the more I expose myself to situations that would normally make me uncomfortable, the better it becomes. Self-esteem and confidence go hand-in-hand and whenever I accomplish something my confidence level goes up, and I automatically feel better about myself, which obviously means my self-esteem also goes up. I'm the same way, not wanting to screw up, not wanting to say or do the wrong things. But I am also the kind of person who does things on the spur of the moment. So I will have a quick moment of extreme confidence and high self-esteem and I'll just go all out and the results are almost always astonishing. Sometimes you need to fake confidence, and eventually you become so used to it, you actually find that you ARE confident! So though I can relate in many ways, I know what has to be done. I have to start looking at that person in the mirror and say, "YOU ROCK!" and live like I believe it. Soon it'll become habit and I'll be confident with super high self-esteem. Find something about yourself that you like. Even external, like a shirt you're wearing. Look in the mirror. Say to yourself, "this shirt makes you look so hot" and eventually you will start to feel good when you wear that specific shirt, or others... And later on, compliment yourself on your hair, eyes, mouth, hands, anything positive, and work from there. Eventually you will love yourself as you are, and it will show.
I guess it's just hard for me to do that because I used to be so much better. At least in my opinion. I used to have a six pack and was a lot better physically. I had perfectly straight teeth and now they are all screwed up (not really bad, but enough that I'm uncomfortable). I guess every time I look in the mirror I remember who I used to be. I never had a problem talking to people or anything. Now I look at me and wonder "who the hell would wanna talk to you, let alone be with you?" I do really appreciate all of the advice tho. Ever since my two cousins moved away, I don't really have anyone to talk about things with. Plus it's nice to know there is somewhere to go where no one will judge me. thanks
Maybe you have body dysmorphic disorder. I am sure I do, because some days I think I am hot and other days I freak out over my face, I see shit thats not there. Maybe you do. I had bad acne from 13-20 so I have self esteem issues, despite being told I am good looking ...etc. I even avoided mirrors for like 5 months once didn't shave let myself go. Maybe you've done that. Clean yourself up, and look at yourself animated that is moving in the mirror, that is what people see, not a still photo, or you standing there. They see you animated. People are often more attractive when they are just being themselves. Also peoples faces grow on others, and become more attractive over time, this is proven, which is why it's hard for a friend to think their friend is ugly even if they are, because to them they aren't, their brain has hard wired its image as a normal face. Look up Body Dysmorphic Disorder. I had it with my face, you may too.
