Okay, I'm soo confused right now. About a year and a half ago, I came to the realization that I was bi/pan, whatever you wanna call it. Before that, I had a few boyfriends, but nothing serious and I was still a virgin. When I found out, I kinda wanted to meet a nice girl and maybe start dating or something. But almost right after I found out, I met this guy and we started dating not long after. We were together for about a year. The first five months or so were great. But then, I got the urge to be with a girl, mainly sexually but also somewhat romantically. I didn't do anything about those urges, just threw them to the back of my mind. And then, we started having problems and after about a year, finally broke it off, with things ending badly. He was my first serious boyfriend, by the way. He was the first one I had sex with, and even though he eventually started treating me like shit, I still had feelings for him and it took me a while to let him go. Once we were done though, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't date a guy again for a while; I'd see if I could find a nice girl to get to know, and prolly date. Maybe it would work out better than any of the guys I was with. But then, my best friend, whose a guy and had had feelings for me for a while, got involved. We started dating. We've been dating for four months now. He's a really nice guy, still my best friend. We're really close. I'm closer to him than I've ever been with anyone. And things have been good between us. But things are going downhill a bit. I've been getting frustrated with him more lately, and we've been fighting more. Also, we used to have sex a lot. But we don't as much anymore. Truthfully, my desire to is lacking anymore. I don't really want to have sex that much. And anytime he drinks, which is occasionally, he can't keep a hardon. I know it's because the alcohol, but it still bothers me and makes me feel crappy about myself. Though I still don't wanna have sex so much. Sometimes, I do enjoy it. I used to all the time. But now, sometimes, I just don't want to. It's like...sometimes, I get this feeling like it's wrong or bad, like we shouldn't be doing it. But I just try pushing that aside and enjoying it anyway. But other times, I'm just completely repulsed by the idea of having sex. I don't know if it's because I've always been really shy and embarrassed about sex, or if I'm not attracted to him, or what. I have noticed that the urge to be with a girl has returned lately. Though now, it's more of wanting to be with a girl more romantically than sexually. And ever since I realized I like girls to, I've slowly begun liking girls more than guys. I always check out girls, but don't pay much attention to guys. I'm just really confused. I've been trying to figure out my feelings and repeated urges to be with girls. But I don't know if my feelings are because I'm really a lesbian and my mind's trying to tell me that, or if I'm just bi and I just have an urge to try and "experiment" and experience something that I haven't yet. How do you know for sure if you're straight, gay, or bi??
How do you know?.......... Good question indeed. Unfortunately, there's no direct answer to that, as everybody finds it's own truth at their own time. Having said that, according to some testimonies I've read before, I'll say you're not bi, you might as well be all the way to Kinsey's 6, it's just that you're still on the process of finding it out. This is just my opinion, by the way, please, don't take it too literaly. If this serves you, I identify myself as bisexual, because when I resarched about it, I found that bisexualism can consist on attraction for either sex, and looking back to my past crushes, I found some of them were males (altough, the large majority were females), so I understood I'm bi. Then I said out loud "I'm bisexual" and inmedietely felt like a HUGE burden lifting out of my shoulders. Don't question yourself too hard, but in due time, you'll find your answer, and it may be as quick as I found mine, but be aware that it may take longer, as (like I said before) every person takes it's own time. For the time being, you may ask yourself if the man you're with makes you feel happy. Don't mind who you like, or wich gender are those you like, just ask yourself if your partner fills you. If he does, then you don't need to challenge yourself, if he doesn't, you may as well take your time sorting your feelings.
Thank you soo much for replying back to me. I appreciate it ^_^ What you said does help a little bit. I'm still confused, though. And I know I prolly shouldn't worry about stuff so much, but I've always been a worrier XD I'll try to fix that a bit though and calm down while I think about this situation. Because I think it might take me a little while to completely figure it out. It just confuses me because I've had those urges, but I always thought I was happy with him, and I still do think he does make me relatively happy. I think. I'll just take some more time to think about it tho, cuz there's no point making a big deal and figuring out everything in a hurry. And again, thanks for the reply; it does help talking to someone about stuff, even if it doesn't fix anything
