hey guys. jus wanna get some opinions on my situation. i come from a Chinese family, pretty traditional and oh. yea. they loathe homosexuals. my aunt thinks they're disgusting whilst my mom thinks they abnormal creatures of the universe. so my family dont know about my sexuality. they keep having conversations about my future plans with a wife and kids and so on. and seriously, its starting to get on my nerves. i came out to a few of my close friends 2 years ago and they were all pretty chill wit it. A few days ago, they asked if i was dating anyone, and i told them that being homosexual was just a phase, and that i was straight now. and they believed it, well i think they did anyway. now, i just dont know what to do. its like a dilemma. if i tell my family, chances are i will get disowned. people tell me it gets better. yea it will. but ill be alone. so, seriously its a risk that arguably isnt worth taking. ive developed into someone that dislikes feminine guys, and it's something that i jus cant change no more. its wrong, and i know it. but its how ive coped with trying to be the perfect child, and now its who i am. which is sorta fucked up. what kinda advice would you have for me, in my situation? im happy with my life so far, its just this subconscious sadness that i have, which from time to time comes outta no where.
Sorry about your situation and I know it must be tough, but you need to come out. When you aren't out, you aren't you and in a way you're living a lie or a partial lie. If you aren't dependent on your parents anymore (over 18) and have a place of your own/place where you go if they kick you out, then you need to tell them (then again, you really need to either way, but it's just a matter of time and stuff). Don't tell them when you're angry or in an argument because that is the absolute worse thing to do, you want to tell them when you're calm and even headed. If you don't want to tell them right away, that's fine. Start by telling one or two of your closest friends and branch out more with people you trust and think will be okay with it. Eventually you'll make your way to telling your parents. When you do tell them if it gets too heated, that's when you leave (which is why it's important not to be dependent on them) and come back the next day. If you are dependent however, wait until you are no longer dependent and follow the advice above. Either way, don't worry about being alone, you will have friends who will stick by you and you can always meet people who will like you for you and not your sexuality. Also, your family loves you and they may just surprise you by saying they love you no matter what. After all, love is unconditional, otherwise it isn't love. I hoped I helped you out. :goodluck:
If there is a risk of getting disowned, and you're 100% sure that isn't an overreaction, then please don't come out until you have your own place. It isn't worth potentially messing up your present and future in terms of jobs and such. As soon as you're no longer dependent, then go ahead.
I agree with the posts above. It's better to start small and then slowly add one or two people you trust at a time. You don't want to put yourself in a situation where you could be harmed nor left out in the street. Being yourself is very important for your mental and physical health. Whether you're straight or gay be true to yourself. Remember most of all to love yourself, because you are YOU :icon_wink No one has the right to force you to be something you're not.
