Hi I posted this in another thread but no one replied and I really need the advice. The full story is here: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/support-advice/73963-100%25-confirmed-i-am-bisexual-my-friend-had-holiday-romance-i-am-jealous.html so you can read it there but the background to this is this, I've a friend who I've had a crush on for several months she went on holiday and I was planning to tell her I was bicurious when she got back but when she did get back she told me she had slept with some guy and I was heartbroken. I thought she was straight and would not want to be my friend once I told her I was bi and had feelings for her. Here's what happened next: So a hell of a lot has happened since I wrote this post; I met up with my friend on Saturday and she took me to a restaurant in the part of town she lives in. I was super nervous as you can imagine and she kept asking me what was wrong but I said I was fine and just needed some alcohol - which also prompted her to ask me what the sudden need for alcohol was so I said I just really needed a drink - so we ordered a bottle but I was picking at my food because I was so nervous and I kept telling myself not to freak out because she was going to notice. To top it all off she looked really nice which didn't help, ugh. :bang: Then she started talking about her holiday and how amazing it was and how much she liked that guy she'd slept with and he was so cool and they got on so well and she was over that crush she'd had on a work colleague (she'd already told me about this previously) and she didn't want to see anyone else because he was so great... My heart broke into a thousand pieces... "that's good" I mumbled staring at my chow mein. I felt like I was going to cry and I didn't want her to see me crying so I was just about to excuse myself to the toilets when she said "Can I ask you a personal question?" I looked up "depends what it is" I replied suspected I had been rumbled. "It's just that er how do I put this..." she said. "Just ask what you want to ask" I said. I sat back and waited for her to ask what I thought she was going to ask me. We'd already got though a whole bottle of wine at this point. "Er" she continued "It wouldn't change anything between us... and there's no indication of..." "Just say it" I said "Ok how do I put this... what's your ideal partner?" She said. "That's a very diplomatic way of putting it" I said. "I'm not gay" "Oh" "I'm bisexual, at least I think I am..." "Well that's ok" she said smiling "I'm bisexual too" :jawdrop: To say I was shocked is an understatement. I went on to tell her that I'd been so jealous and heartbroken when I'd found out she'd slept with that guy and she'd also missed my birthday she said she felt so bad and she'd been an idiot and she was so sorry! She told me that she thinks I am very pretty and is definitely attracted to me :eek: We went on to get incredibly drunk the rest of the night and when we got back to hers (I was staying the night there) she threw up loads. In the morning she was still sick and had a massive hangover so I left there in the morning so she could sleep it off. And we haven't had a chance to talk about things properly yet but she knows how much I like her at least. Now I really want to try and win her over I want to try and convince her to date me. I know she liked that guy but he's all the way in Australia (we're in the UK) and she'd already told me that he was a player and it wasn't anything serious. She'd also told that he is coming to Europe for three months in July and she was planning to go travelling with him. I figure that gives me nine months to try and woo her. I think I've got home advantage because I'm here and he's there and how would she have a serious relationship with him anyway? and he's as much of a player as she said then why would he wait nine months for her? Doe's anybody have any ideas on how to woo her? What should I do? I don't really have any money to take her out nice places but I thought I could make sure I look nice, nice clothes and hair and make up, and try and be really sweet and nice to her and be a good friend... cook her dinner maybe? Btw she told me that she had wanted to kiss me before she went on holiday but didn't want to take advantage of me, I wish she had! :bang: One good thing that has happened since then is that all the turmoil and confusion over my sexuality has evaporated I know for sure I am bisexual! :newcolor: Sorry this is long but I hope someone can help. Thanks.
Well - I'm not sure there's all that much for you to do. You've told her that you like her. She's told you that she wanted to kiss you, finds you attractive, etc. The decision is really: Do you want to risk your friendship with her to have a more serious relationship with her? And if the answer is yes, then you need to invite her out on a date. You'll need to be more self confident going forward. No more mumbling into your plate of food. Good luck.
Thanks for the advice, I suppose the least I can say is that I am in with a chance with her and yes I do want to have a relationship with her and I'll pluck up the courage soon to ask her out on a date. I don't have a lot of confidence but I'll try.
That's so awesome how you guys came out to each other at the same time, I agree with his advice; and to say the least, I am a bit jealous of how lucky you are ;D
My advice is this - next time you two get together, you're in a good spot already. She's admitted she's attracted to you & you know you are to her so just do something cheap but fun, go to a movie together or maybe just go to her place for a meal or she goes to your place for a meal & then watch a DVD together - then just go for it! While watching the DVD, scoot over next to her, lean in & kiss her! No tedious mucking around, just spend a bit of time together & then kiss her! I imagine since both of you know you are attracted to each other, anything after the kiss will require little effort - both emotional or otherwise. Things will go where they will & I'm guessing very little wooing will be required!
Aww thanks :icon_bigg ---------- Post added 8th Nov 2012 at 12:49 AM ---------- Aw you make it sound so easy Katelynn but I think I'm going to be super nervous! lol you know when you are really attracted to someone and you want them so badly and you think about them all the time and .... gah! :love::love: You're right she'd probably be easy to seduce or require very little seducing after I kissed her but it's just making that first move that is difficult! :icon_redf Besides I need to ask her out first... I'll probably do that next time I see her but I'm not sure when that will be yet...
