So, a quick recap on my story. I just recently admitted to myself I'm a lesbian and came out to my therapist on October 3. I'm not out to anyone yet. I come from a very strict, religious home and my family (as a whole) is very close-minded. That's sort of it, in a nutshell. Last night, my dad came over to help me with a few things around my house. Mom tagged along. While Dad was working on my dog's crate (he keeps figuring out a way to escape), Mom breaks out with, "Ooooooooh! Guess what I heard from F (my nephew) yesterday!!! He said S is a (whispers) lesbian. I just don't see how anyone can say that at 17 years old! She has no clue what she is saying. I mean, that is NOT right. You are not just born that way. It is a choice. She must really need attention or something." I'm pretty sure she said a few more derogatory comments, but at some point I think I tuned her out, which comes naturally when you are my mother's daughter. I'm just now coming to terms with my sexuality at 30. I know the fact that I just (finally) moved out of my parent's house in August plays a huge part in that. I finally feel like I can be who I am in the walls of my own house. However, I'm not completely comfortable with it. I'm terrified of how others will respond. Hearing words like my mother's last night, makes it even harder. It just reminds me why I think I will never come out to anyone. I know I'm not alone in feeling (or having felt) this way. How did others deal with it? I just want to know I'm not alone. I feel really alone today. :icon_sad:
I'm in the military, which is a very conservative-dominated organization. I recently started telling some of my friends (my more liberal friends) that I'm gay, and have not had a single bad reaction to it. I think that at some point you just have to find someone you trust and mention it to them - don't make a huge deal out of it, just say it in conversation, or allude to it somehow (e.g. if lesbians or gays are under discussion, say "we" instead of "them") and I guarantee it will get easier the more people you tell. Also understand that there's no rush. You've waited 30 years already, so if you need to wait a bit longer then do so. Go at your own pace, and realize that you're not alone - there are plenty of people who will support and love you just as much (if not more) as before!
I wish O knew what to say.. my familey is religious some are acepting others pretend they are accepting they say God says to love everyone and blah blah.. But it is disgusting and wrong so i havent said anything about how I feel
You're not alone with it. My mom used the be the same way, my grandma too (who's more like my mom than my actual mom is). They make comments and the such like that but in about half the cases I've heard of or so, it turns out they change their tune when it's one of their own. My mom even went as far as to say she'd beat any of her kids that turned out gay until they weren't gay anymore. It's going to be a bit rough since you've just recently come to terms with your own sexuality, but things truly do get a lot easier over time. Unless you're really just wanting to make a leap and come out already, I'd say just become more comfortable with yourself. You're lesbian and there's nothing wrong with that. Just know that you aren't alone and myself along with other members here will always be there for you! (*hug*)
My mom is the same way. She is always saying how she accepts them but it's not the way God intended people to live. She even told me that I couldn't wear my gsa shirt around the house because she doesn't want my younger siblings to think it's ok. It;s gotten even worse lately because, according to my sister, she suspects I am gay so every chance she gets, she is saying it's a sin and whatnot. I just try and remember that she loves me and in her mind she is doing what's best.
I know how it feels to have a mom like that. I was recently outed by my siblings and things went crazy for me since my family r very religious. when i told them i wont change because its not possible my mom kept praying to god to basically something like punish all homosexuals and punish my gay friends and partner. on some days i have to deal with a certain comment from her about my sexuality and life. Just know that u r not alone and surround urself with a good support accepting group and friends who will be there when ur family will let u down. that what helped me a lot during those times and still keeping me strong is that i got great accepting friends and support system that pull me up when my family puts me down. Plus a supporting understanding helps a lot. We are all here for u and supporting u. U r not alone :icon_bigg
No matter what you are, you still deserve all the love and support any human being needs and wants.(*hug*) No one *sad to say including parents* have the right to treat you badly or with disdain.:tantrum: You are loved. :icon_bigg I believe in God, and I say that he crated me and knows me more than I do myself. Therefore He loved me before when I thought I was straight, and He loves me now that I know I am Gay. It is that simple, because God is LOVE.:icon_bigg
