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Typical: Telling the straight friend that I like him ....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by theo, Nov 7, 2012.

  1. theo

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    San Francisco
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    So, I'm in a fraternity. Everyone knows I have feelings for guys. There's this one straight guy in particular in our frat who has been hanging out with me a lot. He considers me one of his best friends since coming to college - and the feeling is mutual. Almost daily, we go out to eat, hang out, or do homework together. He isn't afraid of acting too gay with/around me (making gay jokes, hugging me, tickling me, etc.).

    Only thing is, I tend to easily become invested in guys ... which leads to major crushing. He's no exception. I can never get him off my mind, and I'm wondering if I should tell him. He's asked me before if I was sexually attracted to him, and I simply told him, "Hmmm. I've had ... thoughts about you, I guess. But I just try not to think about them. Why? Would you want to know if I developed serious feelings for you?" To which he replied, "Yes. I'd still hang out with you, I just want to be aware not to lead you on."

    I'm scared if he thinks "not leading me on" means he would back off. I'm wondering if I should tell him that I have developed serious feelings for him. He's invited me over to enjoy Thanksgiving with him and his girlfriend, and has even asked if I wanted to be roommates next academic year. I don't want to tell him for fear that he'd feel uncomfortable around me during Thanksgiving ... or even worse when we're roommates. I also don't want him to feel as if he needs to retreat from our friendship, because (I'm pretty clingy and) I would feel as if a friend were abandoning me.

    At the same time, we've talked about almost everything. I'm wondering if this is worth risking our friendship?

    So conflicted. :bang:
     
    #1 theo, Nov 7, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2012
  2. Lance

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2012
    Messages:
    506
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    Location:
    Michigan, USA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I don't think it is really worth it if he's straight. If that's the case, not much can come out of it in your favor..