Born gay?

I doubt there is anything that could make someone who is entirely straight suddenly turn LBG. However, studies do show that people who are not exclusively attracted to one gender or another experience fluctuations in who they are attracted to over time. It is entirely possible and quite plausible that life events sway which gender(s) someone is attracted to if they already have the capability of being attracted to people of that gender/those genders.

I have wondered at times if my upbringing didn't contribute to my inability to picture a relationship with a man. My mom divorced my dad when I was just a year old, and she was always very vocal about her disdain for relationships and men. However, she also never exactly had anything positive to say about women, either. This lead to me being confused by people in general, only realizing I was genuinely attracted to anyone within the past year.

 

When I come to think about it, I generally remember I used to have crushes left right and center over girls before I entered puberty. They never ended well and usually with me feeling crestfallen. So, in regards to your theory, it certain seems that these events triggered my homosexuality as from one point, I appeared to be a normal heterosexual child until puberty hits and I come to realise I am gay.

But, my main theory is I was born gay, this stayed dormant until the time I entered puberty and showed itself once I started to become sexually mature. That was when my true feelings appeared.

Of course, the thought of a trigger isn't a strange one. The Diathesis Stress Model essentially tells us that illness can be triggered by stressful events. Its not difficult to apply this to personality. Therefore, I would say its a mix of both trigger and genetics

 

I doubt that experiences can make someone gay, they might make someone realize that they're gay/bi but not actually make them that way. I had horrible experiences with men growing up and basically hated them for a long time and I turned out gay, with those experiences it would've made more sense for me to straight if environment influenced our sexuality.

 

I beileve I was born gay and always meant to be gay and my upbringing kinda supports this.

 

I think I was born gay. I had crushes on girls during high school, but that was just me abiding by the norm. I think it was more admiration than actual attraction.

 

You are born gay there is no arguing it.

Too many homos are raised in super heterosexual settings, I had no reason to be gay whatso ever other than my brain is attracted to males.

The argument of nature v.s nurture has turned in semantics. Nature clearly is the winner, nurture has too many flaws, holes and "special cases", whereas Nature simply puts it just is.

You cannot turn someone gay. Explain why most gay men have fem characteristics? Explain why most gay females have masculine characteristics? It comes naturally, there is no rhyme or reason for it.

Look up the younger brother theory as well, that has a lot of scientific merits, I am the younger child, and a lot of other gay people I know are the youngest. This is the only scientific theory that is partially if not completely proven correct, it does not mean that older brothers can't be gay, but the likely hood of being gay when you are a younger male is staggering. They don't have anything on females though, younger females are not lesbians for the most part like younger males are gay.

 

^Whenever I have a "crush" on a guy I always realize its more just admiration. I have no physical attraction to them, and can sometimes confuse admiration and having a crush. I get along with women better, but whenever someones nice to me I often mistake those warm fuzzy feelings I get for attraction.

Well, I thought I was asexual until I had dreams involving the same sex. As a Christian I tried to dismiss any passing thoughts about dating the same sex, though I secretly knew the idea appealed to me. However my subconscious wouldn't let it go and it would materialize in the form of very intimate dreams. In the search to disregard these thoughts I dated men, but my previous boyfriend was sexually abusive to me.

Honestly, the abuse may have pushed me over more towards women, but I always had homosexual tendencies. I struggle with nature vs nuture on this, as Christians will lean towards it's nuture (behaviorism) and the LGBT community leans towards it being nature. (innate qualities) I have a hard time because I'm Christian AND LGBT so I try to meet halfway. =/

 

Never thought of it from that perspective, that explains a lot why so many people find nature hard to believe even with empirical evidence to back it up. Christianity believes in a lot of disproved theories anyways, Dinosaurs never existed, big bang didn't happen(now we have pictures of it).....etc. They also burned down libraries with much knowledge in them that contradicts their teachings during the Crusades.

As a modern Christian, one should realize the wrongs they have done. The Catholic church
finally accepted that the world isn't the centre of the universe and apologized for Galileo's execution. Christianity has a long way, but they eventually will accept the nature argument maybe in 2050; hopefully there aren't many of them around then.

 

My mom is a Christian, but she strongly believes members of the LGBT community are born that way. I guess it just depends on the Christian.

 

I feel as though I was born gay. Growing up I often felt I had "crushes" even dated women to fulfill the "norm" of the religion but was never sexually attracted to them.

I truly believe its in the DNA but life events may confirm things.

 

True, well your mom is very progressive. Christianity was meant to be interpreted in a vague way. IT was meant to be vague, so that people don't set things in stone. Real Christians let their beliefs dictate what they want, not some head of a Church. Your mother is a real Christian, rare kind

 

Yes she is, and I hope to be just as accepting of others as her. People always hear about negative Christians but I know many supportive ones who are very accepting and loving. Hopefully I can be that kind of Christian.

 

Hey me too, I remember having HUGE crushes on girls when I was a kid, I liked them it never occurred to me or anyone else I was gay really.

When Puberty hit around 6th grade, I remember my crushes for girls still being there, except I kept ignoring the fact that all I thought about was my best friend day and night, I was depressed that he wasn't as close to me as I would have liked, I was dperessed and confused for a looooong time, then I gave the thought of actually being with the same gender a go and it was like I found my long lost friend. It just worked. Puberty totally determined it for me.

 

It's actually refreshing and nice to hear that people realised their sexuality when puberty kicked in.

Until about 12, I had very small crushes on guys and crushes on girls that I never identified as crushes because I didn't understand, so I thought I was straight. But looking back the signs were there even when I was 7 (I'm not going into it). But as puberty started kicking in, I really really knew what I was and it was a bit terrifying but a bit of a relief, I could now identify my crushes for girls and I'm not into guys at all - only to admire them.

But I do think people are born gay/bi or whatever, because I've been hurt by girls a lot and I still fall in love with them.

 

I have theories on why I might be, this way, but IDK if I should say.

 

I can relate in some ways. To answer your question directly, I don't think that experiences can really "trigger" homosexuality.

I think we just sort of have certain affinities. As I think about my life history, I realize that I never did learn much about women, because almost all of my friends are male, and I only really made an effort to be around women this year. Even still, I have not been sufficiently invested in that effort. Perhaps because of my intense familiarity, I am more comfortable with men, and because of my socialization, I know how to be romantic with them. I just don't know what the heck to do with women. And I'll certainly admit that's a short-coming of mine, and I am working to rectify it.

I guess my gut just says that thinking we can "trigger" homosexuality is more about rationalization. Does anything trigger heterosexuality? Why is that the default? Why not bisexuality? Since sex and romance are fun, why wouldn't we maximize our potential to enjoy those things? I think the answer is because we're more innately programmed.

Plus, I really hate to think that we all "cracked" under some kind of pressure, and that's why we're gay or bisexual. That's just a little too depressing for me right now.

 

I used to think that I chose to be gay, so I jumped into my time machine and went back to my younger days and backtracked. I had crushes on my friends growing up as well as my teachers. I was actually in love with my 1st/2nd grade teacher. I found out in middle school that being ”gay” or liking girls was not considered ”normal”, so I went into hiding around 13 and I suppressed my feelings. I believe that I was born gay, I do believe that certain events in my life helped me figure out who I truly am. I think that's why they say everything happens for a reason, but that's not really comforting.

 

1. Most gay men are not more feminine than the average straigth man. It's because the feminine gay guys catch most attention that people believe that to be the case.

2. I do believe that the percentage of men displaying "feminine traits" is higher in gay men than it is in straight men (though as I said above, it's deffinitely not *most* gay men!), but this is because overall gay guys tend to be more in touch with their feminine sides due to not having to live up to the masculine stereotype; that's why they're not afraid to show those feminine sides. A lot of straight guys have the same traits, they're just afraid to let it show on the surface because it might question their "manliness."

So, I really firmly do believe that femininity and sexual orientation genetically have absolutely nothing to do with each other; it's the stereotype society puts on it that determines whether someone shows their femininity or not.