Alright, before anyone just posts: "Smoking is bad, mmm'kay..." hear me out. So, I picked up smoking while I was living in Africa. Everyone smokes there and I was getting a nicotine buzz from just being in public areas. So, reasons for starting aside, I have been meaning to quit since I returned to the USA. I have bought the patches and the physical withdrawal doesn't bother me, but what I didn't count on is the emotional consequences. Nicotine is my crutch, and without it I have wild mood swings (they will go away eventually, like cravings) and, since this is smack in the middle of my coming out process, they couldn't come at a worse time. My parents have been expressing concern for in the past few days of nicotine starvation and I almost just came out to my Mom earlier in the day just because she was so genuinely concerned about me. I am angry a lot, and she thinks I am angry at her. I am not, I am angry at God. I am now a non-believer, so I can't actually be mad at him. I am just mad that my religion kept me from admitting who I was to myself and others a decade longer than I should have. I am also frustrated because I am now out to the majority of my inner circle of friends and my brother, so my parents are the only ones that I am still closeted around. I have heard it said here before that there is nothing more frustrating than having to be back in the closet when you don't want to be. Now, the plan is to come out to my parents in the next two weeks, but I am not sure I can hold that long if I am off the cigarettes. I bought a pack today, and I stabilized very quickly. So, sound off, should I quit now with all of this hanging over my head? Or should I wait until I am fully out and then go for it? It's a tough choice; smoking is bad and I never intended to be addicted as long as I have been, but I think it could be a very bad idea to quit as things stand right now. Lastly, I have a very specific timeline for coming out to my parents, so I don't intend to bump that up on the calendar for any reason. Thanks as always for your help and support, -The Seeker
That's a really tough call. There will *always* be things in your life you can use to justify continuing to smoke / starting again / "having just one." The core problem is, you're using a very unhealthy means of controlling your moods, and that's fundamentally where the problem is. I'd say that if you've quit already and done without, throw away the pack and stick with the quitting plan. If you have the patches and are using them, then you're getting the nicotine anyway, and the excuses about smoking "stabilizing" anything are just bullshit you're using to rationalize your behavior. If you do use this excuse to start smoking again, it will be that much harder to quit again, that much easier to put it off, and... will also send you the message that you must fall back on the cigarettes when times get tough, which is going to make it harder to stay free of them over time. I'm confident you can, if you set your mind to it, do this just as well without the cigarettes as with them. And it will help reinforce the strategy of seeking other, healthier coping mechanisms instead of smoking. Let us know if you need help with other coping strategies.
First off let me say that I was a 30+ year smoker, quit hundreds of times without any luck. If you can quit cold turkey without any prescriptions way to go. I was not successful when I tried that. I had tried the nicotine patch more than once, the gum, online support group, quit smoking DVD, cold turkey, all to no avail. I've used the next week will be a better time to quit excuse several times. I also used the I'll just have one excuse before starting up again too many times. Two and a half years ago I saw my doctor, told him I wanted to quit and that I had horrible mood swings when I had tried quitting in the past. He prescribed one of the medications for quitting that also just happens to be used to treat depression. I haven't smoked in two and a half years. I would encourage you to see your doctor. Tell him what you experience when you quit and see what he\she suggests.. He\she may decide that a stop smoking medication is not needed in your case and simply teach you techniques to get through the tough times but your doctor can likely help. Good luck with your quit. It is tough quitting but it gets easier over time.
Not a good time to quit. I'd say start smoking again and tell your parents, or quit completely then tell them. Don't do both at once. Nicotine withdrawal deprives you of dopamine, which makes you feel good. Without this you feel like nothing on earth will every be the same or alright again, so why would you COME OUT when your body can't even produce a hormone that makes you feel good. You are going to be pissed, angry and moody till you are off nicotine, I wouldn't do anything else. Quitting is a big enough step in your life. Thats like saying you are going to study for an exam while teaching yourself the course.
I'm more or less in the same situation. I smoke, and aside from other stuff I have going on, I'm in the middle of my coming out process as well. But have been broke for a week now and my last money... yep, spent on a pack of cigarettes. It was empty by sunday evening, so I haven't smoked all week... I just have no choice. Which makes it easier to quit on the one side, but I don't want to quit just yet, so that makes it harder in a way. I don't want to quit yet because I have so much stuff going on currently. When all that is out of the way, and I'm out, I'll consider quitting again. Too much on my mind right now. In your situation, especially if you're so close to coming out, I'd say don't quit just yet. I know it's bad to think like this, but those few more weeks of smoking won't matter that much, will they? I never thought I'd say this, but: it's better to continue smoking for the time being.
