Alright, hello everyone! I'm new here (not sure why it says I'm male, I'm actually female!), but I figured I could talk about what I've been feeling lately in a safe place here. I'm pretty sure I'm bisexual. I'm almost 22 and I figured out I liked girls around the time I was 13 or so. The only problem is, I can't stand being bisexual. I can't accept it in myself. I say I think I'm bisexual because I do enjoy kissing/sexual relations with women in general, so I'm pretty sure that says something about me at least. I think it's completely fine for other people if they are, but I can't get over it in myself. I also have a lot of issues sexually, so I feel like I might be more interested in girls because I feel "safer" with them and that they won't hurt me. I've never been physically abused by a man or anything, but I always feel like they'll use me or hurt me, even though I know that not all guys are like that at all. I do get crushes on guys and after my last relationship with a woman, I told myself that I couldn't imagine dating another one. I met a girl online who I really like and we are dating and plan to meet hopefully soon. She makes me really happy. At the same time, I feel really pressured to date a guy (I've never dated a man before). I feel like I genuinely like her, but these feelings conflict a lot and I feel like maybe I just like her because I feel safe with her instead. I've kind of come out to my parents. Mom brushes it off as a phase (and has for years now) while dad was more understanding and completely fine with it. I don't want to tell my parents now because I don't want to upset them and because they won't let me visit my girlfriend either (they think we're just really close friends). Long story short, I just had to get this off my chest. I feel like I'm "too old" to be questioning my orientation, and I wish I could just accept myself and get to the bottom of all of these feelings. Just wondering if anyone has ever felt similar or anything. Thank you for taking your time to read this, it's extremely appreciated!
