To Date Him or Not to Date Him? (Or Dianna's Struggle With Her Identity)

Hi all,

So a little bit about me before I talk about an issue I'm having. I'm 17 years old and I began to realize I wasn't straight when I was about 13 years old (although there have been a couple of signs since I was about 8). I don't know if I'm bisexual or a lesbian, although the odds are good that I'm bi but just lean more towards women. I'm out to a few friends and my little sister (who's a very mature 13), and I tried to tell my mom, but she didn't really believe me since I wasn't so sure myself. I don't think she really wants to believe me. :dry:

I've been on-and-off going on dates with a guy who I've been friends with for a few years. It's a really weird relationship - we go on dinner and lunch dates, to concerts, I lean my head on his shoulder at movies, we almost kissed this one time - but we know each other's parents (and they approve). It's practically a Victorian courtship - nothing sexual, just hanging out and spending time together. And I do this with him more than anyone else, but I'm not sure I'm really... attracted to him.

He's cute enough (I can appreciate a guy's body), and he's a nice guy, really sweet, and hilarious too. I haven't said or done anything about my birthday and no one's given me gifts but my grandparents, but he bought me jewelry to apologize for "being five weeks late". We get along really well, and it feels good to spend time with him.

Problem is, it's sooo awkward when it comes to touchy-feely stuff. I'm more touchy-feely (and almost more sexual) with my best friend, and he's gay and I'm not attracted to him at all. I'm also touchy feely with a lot of people, but with Max it's not really happening. Thing is, if this doesn't turn into a relationship, I might as well bail out, because I would like something more. But I don't know if I'm attracted to him. I'm romantically attracted to guys, but I don't know if I'm sexually attracted to them. This especially goes for him. It's like when the opportunity for a hookup with a guy comes along (anything past making out - sometimes even making out), I freeze up and think "Ew!"

So what am I supposed to do? Bail? Ask him out? Have a little fun and see what happens? (I'm almost as virginal as it gets, guys.) I'm confused - I know I could pull off asking him out with confidence and get what I want... I just don't know if that's what I want.:help:

 

To edit something I've said before: I don't know about "ew". I mean, there are a couple of guys I wouldn't mind making out with, but when I think about hooking up with guys I start to find the whole thing not...intimidating, just not all that wonderful.

And this is the "Dianna struggles with her identity" part, because I like spending time with him but I don't want to lead him on if that's the case. Additionally, bi or lesbian? biromantic lesbian? the distinction is getting blurrier and blurrier for me and it's just making me frustrated. I wonder if i'm supposed to have it all figured out before i do anything - certainly seems like it.