Well I know it's been a long time since I've even logged into my account, but things just aren't going well for me now. College has been taking up a lot of my time and I was seeing this guy for three months. He was amazing, one of the best people I've ever dated, and two weeks ago I lost him >.< We had to break up out of necessity though, I guess. He avoided me for a week and then finally sat me down and said it was because his dad had lost his job and he had to get a job to help his family keep their house. He told me that because he cared for me so much and didn't have time for me anymore between work and school, that he was letting me go to find someone else who could have time for me. The problem is that I know there isn't anybody else, there was never a guy like him. I'm not going so far as to say we were star-crossed lovers, but I cared for him...a lot. It makes me really sad to know that we could have had something great but it didn't work out in the end Following that, the last two weeks have been nothing but hell for me. I've been completely out of money because my parents have refused to help me out with money and have been forgetting to send me the payments they said they would, so I've basically been living on $12 a week. I'm looking for a job right now, and might have a possible one coming up, but no promises. Just the other day I got locked in a bathroom for 45 minutes at the university library while trying to study because the door latch broke, so like a loser I had to pound on the door and get the locksmith to get me out. Then when I was let out I had to suffer the stares and laughs of just about everyone in that library. It was adding insult to injury, like the universe decided to kick me when I was down x.x My roommate, who I live in close quarters with, also got a new girlfriend like right after my breakup, and they're together every night here at our apartment. I mean, I'm happy for him and all, but still it really hurts to be recently single and see those two together. It's like taking the third wheel game to expert level >.< I'm just not sure what my romantic life is looking like beyond this. I have that natural fear that I'll never meet anyone else again, irrational as they may be, it seems so logical. I'm not attractive, I'm not interesting, I'm not that likeable, etc. I don't know, I really don't care if anybody reads this or not, I just needed to vent.
I hate to put this in such blase terms but I think you'll be alright. It's hard to see it in times like this when shit hits the fan all at once and it seems like you can't catch a break. However, it can only go up from here. You'll end up getting a job and one day you'll find someone else who you like that likes you back. I doubt that you're actually not attractive, not interesting and unlikable. It just feels that way now cause you're in a rough patch. But when things are at their lowest, the only place you can go is up.
honestly I can take a rough patch, but the problem with these last two weeks is that whenever something bad happens I think that it can't get any worse and that it has to get better, but then something even worse happens. I'm not sure if I can get out of this slump because things just keep going wrong for me over and over again :/
