It just seems like my bad luck with men never seems to fail me. Every time I meet a guy something goes wrong. Either they aren't looking for any kind of date or they're simply looking for sex. I just recently met a guy who was the perfect guy in every way possible (a gentleman, fine with holding hands and even hugging/kissing me in public, had a really nice personality) and things ended today because he says he'd be too busy over the next month and feels it'd be better for me to find someone who can "appreciate spending time with me on a regular basis". It just really sucks how every time I meet someone something always goes wrong. Normally it's just guys looking for sex and when they find out that I won't put out how they'd like things quickly fade out within a day or two. Back when I had my whole crazy sex fiend phase it seemed the sex always ruined things. Now I'm just at the point where it doesn't look like this cycle is going to change. I'm perfectly fine with being single as I have yet to ever have a real boyfriend, it just sucks how everywhere I see couples that seem happy and even the guys I've met that are jerks have had boyfriends for 2-4 years at a time yet somehow I haven't even been given a chance at that. I get compliments on being cute/handsome/occasionally hot but no one ever seems to want more than a quick lay with me. I guess I'm just in need of a good pep talk. I've been going through a mental checklist for the past week or two of everything I could possibly be doing wrong/right and I just can't seem to find out what the problem is. Even as strictly friends guys just don't seem to be interested.
Your first sentence nails it. The only thing that's "wrong" with you is that you have simply not yet experienced the sheer dumb luck that is the largest determinant in every human relationship, romantic or otherwise. I have no doubt that there are lots of guys in the world who (a) are interested in long-term romantic relationships and (b) would totally think you're cool, fun, and sexy. The problem is meeting them! Don't see this as any defect of yours. I know it must be frustrating for you, especially when you see other couples around you. But relationships are just that, how two or more people relate together. If they're super compatible, even if one of them is a jerk, then sometimes things will happen. There is no Human Experience Points scale where when you reach a certain point you have "earned" or "deserve" a boyfriend. I actually congratulate you with sticking to pursuing what you want rather than throwing yourself into things you don't want out of desperation. But what can you do besides keep meeting people and seeing if you like them and think they're cool, they like you and think you're cool, and whether they're also interested in something more long-term? This is not to say that there aren't certain factors that will improve your chances of this happening. These things are obviously no guarantee, but they will increase the probability: 1. Do things/go to events that allow you to meet people you don't know. Frequently. 2. Go out of your way to meet your friends' friends. Look, you already have something that connects you! 3. Approach people you find interesting and initiate conversations with them. 4. Find ways to make your interests social. If, for instance, you like to read, join a book club. If you like running/any other sport, join a team. Look for opportunities to connect with people who will already share something with you right off the bat. Also, have you tried online dating at all? That would allow you to indicate your interests are longer term and reach a wider audience. But the main takeaway should be this: bad luck does not make you a bad person. A very frustrated person, yes, but nothing is wrong with you for not having the ability to magically meet someone you're compatible with.
It seems like I'm just having the worst luck ever then if that's the big factor in meeting someone. What I don't really get either is the guys that I've met who say they don't want a relationship and then it's like a week later they suddenly have a bf seeing as that's happened to me twice now. Even though they say they're into me and would want to date if things went further. Then there's the people who have had these long term relationships that do the same thing which leads me to believe I'm probably doing something wrong. I've tried the online dating thing but to no avail so far since 80% of the people I message don't reply and the few that do have only wanted sex. As for events I've gotten out more like going to movies and the such alone but the only big "gay" events I've seen out here near the Hollywood area have been sorta eh, borderline promiscuous-promoting which just isn't my scene. I would love playing baseball or maybe even football if the opportunity came up but seeing as how I don't start school until January that's not much of a possibility either. Thanks a bunch for the ideas though
