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i feel lost and alone

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Myra48, Nov 9, 2012.

  1. Myra48

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    last night i told my friend that i cut and he forced me to give him the knives and threatend to tell an RA. i know hes only trying to help, but now i feel worse than ever. i dont know what to do. i cant cut anymore and im getting more and more depressed. i need to get a real binder because the ace bandage is making my chest hurt where its almost unbearable. all i could think of today was cutting my leg and seeing the blood; and then knowing that i cant. ive been crying and sleeping all day and i dont know what to do. im failing my classes and i dont even care, i really need help but theres no way to get it. please somebody just give me encouraging words
     
  2. BudderMC

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    (*hug*)

    I guess the obvious first question is: are you talking with anyone about what you're thinking right now? A lot of what you're describing sounds like depression, and depression's even harder to break through when you fight it by yourself. Have you considered talking with a counsellor or a therapist? Your school probably offers services, and in addition to (likely) being beneficial for your mental health, they might also be able to help you out regarding binders and stuff.

    At the very least, see if you can make it onto EC to post to vent about stuff, or PM any of the staff if you want to talk more. I know we're not in person, but EC (collectively) is a giant support network and our goal is to make you feel better.
     
  3. Myra48

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    i cant get any help from my school because i go to a conservative christian college where all the counselors are religious. im seriously considering transferring to a college in the city but everyone i talk to is telling me its a bad idea and that i will regret it. the school has gender neutral bathrooms, the whole month of nov their celebrating trans* and are educating people about the subject, and they work along side trans* students in regards to housing. i emailed the admissions counselor and he said they have works with alot of transgender students and that they could do the same with me. i would be able to live the way i want with the least discrimination possible but my grandma thinks i will want to come back, my friends dont want me to leave and their all making me feel guilty. i think it would help with all the depression and anxiety. i would be able to dress the way i want, get a binder, live where i want, and present myself the way i want. do you guys think it would be a good idea to leave? (also their program for my major is even better than where i am at now)
     
  4. jamieuk

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    Moving to that college sounds absolutely the best thing for you. Sometimes, people close to you don't know enough about what you're going through to give you the best advice, but from what you've said here it seems obvious that you should leave.
     
  5. BudderMC

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    If it's viable (in terms of finances, future goals, etc.) then definitely go for it; that sounds like an awesome idea.

    As for your friends, they might be upset to see you go, but if they're really good friends they'll understand (eventually) that this is what's best for you. If they aren't helpful with your depression but this school might be, then I think that's the best choice to make.