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it keeps punching me in the face

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lillywing, Nov 9, 2012.

  1. Lillywing

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Michigan
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Some people
    More and more lately I've been almost breaking out in tears during school or even just when I'm around other people a lot. It's not so much the being around people that's hurting me (mentally) it's that the more I'm around people the more I have these constant reminders that I'm male (physically)..... its getting really hard to deal with, every reminder has become a mental punch in the face and a shout of "YOU'RE A BOY" and it hurts so much worse than it used to, I mean, i know I'm not a man, but my body's refusal to ackowledge that fact is getting more and more painful and frustrating..... anyone have advice for making it easier?please?
     
  2. Gen

    Gen
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    I am not transgender, so I cannot even partially truly understand the way you feel. Though, coming from someone who is different in ever possible way from everything they 'should be', I will try my best.

    There will always be things that will standing your way. People will tell you that you are a man and always will be. Your self esteem will tell you that you will never be enough. You will never be pretty enough. You will never truly be what you wish so deeply. Even after transitioning, the world will always try to shut the door in your face. But you have to be strong, and know and love what you truly are. Your body doesnt get to decide who you are. Society doesnt get to dictate how you feel. You are the only one that can take the riens and own it.

    It hurts now and it will probably hurt for a while, but a day will come when you will get sick of puffy eyes and horrid after-headaches. A time when you get sick of suffering for the ignorance of society. You know what you really are and no one or thing that take that away from you. Going against the norm is always playing life on hard mode, but after a few levels, after a few bosses, and learning curves, you start to get the hang of it.
     
  3. Keelin

    Full Member

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    Um.... how old are you?

    I have so much feels for you. I think that yeah, biologically we are boys, but that isn't what matter. Gender is what you make of it really, but I'll save you that speech because you probably realize that anyway.

    Being transgender is arguably one of the more difficult positions to be in when your lgbt.

    You will always be reminded of your biological sex, but you just have to refuse to acknowledge that you have the parts of a male, so you must be male. That kind of thinking will lead to utter confusion, pain, and you'll absolutely regret it later.

    When I first fully understood what transgender was, I was absolutely in denial. I didn't want to think that I was different, or that people could have a reason to glare at me. I learned after a while though, it was OK, because

    1) It's not my fault I was born this way (Cue Lady Gaga)

    2) People are just ignorant, and if they want to stare then that's okay.

    3) I would never be happy if I went on like this. I hated myself so much and it really isn't worth it when I can just be happy by being myself.

    Keep that last one in mind,

    ~K