Im a 16 year old guy, and Im as straight as can be... ive only dated girls, have only had sexual encounters with girls and get turned on by those body parts of girls straight guys love so much, but something lately has made me question everything and it eats at me. I've never actually enjoyed being with a girl, hooking up use to be fun, and dating girls was normal, but i dont know. It's always awkward when im with a girl. When i would make out with a girl all the way up to having sex, there was never really a connection. Besides a boner and the urge to get laid, it wasn't too great. No matter how many girls i've been with, there has been no "emotional" connection. Now with boys. I've never had any same sex encounters, but since 7th grade i've questioned. I had a celebrity crush on that singer from "Tokio Hotel" and when i found out it was a HIM and not a HER and i thought he was even cuter my world got turned upside down. I told a friend and she told everyone else i way gay, and well, i never let anything like that ever happen again because of how everyone talked crap to me about it. Than last year I met this gay kid. Nothing ever came out of it, and we didn't actually talk too much, but i fell so hard. At the time he was the cutest thing i have ever seen and i thought right than i was gay. I had never felt the way I did for him that i did for any girls. It was more than sexual. I actually wanted to be with him. It was weird and a new feeling. But nothing ever happened and that was that. Time went on between than, and i only hung out with chicks and was just a normal straight guy, until one day i went on tumblr and somehow ended up on a blog with a bunch of gay teens. And it happened all over again. Typing this i see how stupid i must sound, but i saw ONE of the guys and omg my emotions just exploded. He had to be the cutest dang thing i have ever seen in my life. I wanted him bad, and it scared me. This all confuses me so much. Ill go to school everyday and check out a few girls, think nice ass or nice rack, nothing more, but than come home and watch "KorKor and Dave" or "Scott robeson" on youtube and just fall in love with theyre personalities and how they look (specifically KorKor not Dave ) Its a kind of attraction ive never had watching woman in shows, and the physical attraction i have looking at guys like that is nowhere the same as when i see a girl. When i see an attractive girl its more of a "nice ass/nice chest/cute body" and thats about it, but than ill see a cute guy, which really isnt often, i guess im really picky, and think "omg hes the cutest thing ever" or ill love theyre personality, which is something ive never liked with girl. and thats what confuses me; Am I straight? Am I gay? Am i going through a phase? If you read it and give me a response I would appreciate it sooo much. :bang:
I think you probably aren't totally straight. You could be bi or maybe gay. It's hard when you first have these feelings and it's definately confusing. Just see where things go and take your time. Know that whatever happens or who you end up liking that it's ok and just go with it. You will figure things out as time goes on.
Hey. Welcome to Empty Closets! The thing about sexuality, and it's been shown experimentally, is that everyone is different. Human nature is extremely complicated, and by that logic, sexuality is too extremely bloody complicated. So while I consider myself "gay", there are a few girls I would like to have sex with. And I could see myself being emotionally attracted to the right girl, too. But really, the chances are that I want to with a guy, because my sexual, emotional and romantic attractions are ten times stronger for men. I can tell if a girl is hot and whether she has a nice ass or rack, too. And that's about it for 99 per cent of girls. I think your post accurately describes your own evolution on the subject, and you just need someone to confirm that what you're saying makes sense. The lack of emotional attraction to girls is very telling. And when you say you're attraction to the gay kid was "more than sexual", you are asserting that you had both an emotional and sexual attraction to him. That's a sure sign that you're not straight anyway. So to answer your first question: no you're not straight. Are you gay? Well, for all intents and purposes, yes. But as I said, sexuality is extremely complicated. A famous biologist called Alfred Kinsey developed a scale called the Kinsey Scale (you can Google it), where he showed that people can have varying degrees of attraction between men and women. It's not just straight/gay/bisexual. You can be 100% gay or 100% or many ways in between. You don't have equal attraction to men and women, but you don't have no attraction to women either, so maybe you're between a four and a five on the scale. And even his 0–7 scale is simplifying it too much. People are too complicated to be placed into a scale! But it gives an idea of sexuality, and Kinsey was the first person to suggest that sexuality wasn't so simple. To answer your last question... are you going through a phase? I think it's safe to say that you're not just going through a phase. Things may change again, but you've been wondering why you haven't been properly connecting with girls for a long time. And that was no matter how many girls you were with. That doesn't sound like a recent thing that's only happened in the past few months or weeks, so by the very definition of "phase", it can't be one. You've been questioning yourself since seventh grade, too. So that means that it's something that's been nagging at you for a long time. And you've had feelings that have made you thought you were gay, and then let time pass until you come back to them again. That doesn't suggest that it's a phase either. You've left plenty of time for a "phase" to pass, and it hasn't.
Thanks both of you, i guess you're right. I just get to a point of accepting that maybe I am gay or bi, but than I tell myself no, it will go away. And it just repeats itself
that may go on for a while longer. Even after several years i still once and a while have thoughts like that. I just don't allow myself to give in to the fear or doubt anymore cause i've been down that road before and it doesn't lead anywhere good. You just gotta do you and be strong man. The best way to do that is just to get up every day and put one foot in front of the other and not give in to fear.
Why not try being with a guy to see if u really are attracted to guys, sexually and emotionally? You can choose to care about what ppl think or say but at the end of the day, you'll still b confused n would wonder n wonder about what u really want in life to b happy fulfilled...Hope everything goes well!!
I had a a look at that "Cute guys are gay" tumblr page and there are a lot of pornographic images there too, you are definitely not straight!
Not that I can offer any suggestions, but may I ask what you mean by "cute"? When I used to hear it on television and films, I thought it simply meant "good looking" in that context, but is it closer to "adorable" and the meaning of cute in other contexts? Can it also be inverted towards say, a protective seeming man slightly older than oneself? Is it even compatible with lust? If I'm diverting this thread too much, please let me know and I'll try not to do it again.
I guess when i use the word cute it can have different meanings. There is the cute you use with family, friends, and other people in a way to describe them looking "better than normal" i guess you can say. But than there is the context, like the one in which i used it, where you're attracted to the person for a physical reason that isn't related to sex. Thats just my opinion. I figure using "hot" is when someone is all around good looking. "Cute" if you're talking about like their face or something non-sexually related. "Sexy" if it's related to something sexual or lusty. But that's just how I see it ---------- Post added 11th Nov 2012 at 03:37 PM ---------- How long did it take you to decide to identify as gay rather than straight even though you said you do find some girls attractive and could see yourself with the right girl? When did you stop being confused about yourself?
Hmmm. That's a tough question. I suppose all I can say is that I don't think there was any ever doubt for me. It simply was that I was much more attracted both sexually and romantically to guys. And it seems like you are too, so I don't think there is any doubt. I mean, yeah, I identify as gay, but I'm aware of my feelings in that I know everyone is different. Of course I could go out with some really hot girl who has an amazing personality, but for all intents and purposes, it's just easier to call myself gay, even if it's not that accurate. It's all about how you visualise yourself. You seem more romantically and sexually attracted to guys, so that's where you have to decide if you can imagine yourself spending the rest of your life with a guy or whatever, and then deciding how you're going to identify.
I'll just say tat I thought I was straight growing up. I got turned on looking at girl bits, but almost exclusively in porn (not in real life). And I still think women can be beautiful. I just have found that it's guys that really do it for me. I understand the emotional/cutesy/fanboy sort of reaction you're having, but do any of these feelings move into the physical? Do you fantasize about doing anything physical with a guy (be he general r specific)? Have you tried, or do you just close that door when you get to it? Lex
Yeah, i watch alot of gay porn, more than I do straight porn, and while i get a hardon seeing straight porn, i don't actually get really "turned on" unless its an attractive guy in some gay porn. You know what i'm saying? And no I havn't tried anything, partly because there isn't many gay guys out here to meet with, and i don't find too many of them attractive anyway. Im not trying to be a whore or anything.
Hello. This might not be it at all, but I am getting a bit of a homoromantic bisexual vibe here. Which would mean you are sexually attracted to men and women, but romantically attracted only to men. Because I labeled myself bicurious at 16, and now bi, and before that I thought I was straight. And I lean more on the homoromantic side, so when I started thinking about girls in that way, it was so new. I never was interested in dating, at all. But now I kind of understand romantic feelings, which I didn't at all before care about. So it's just a thought to be thrown out there. As well as pansexual, since you mentioned personalities. I wouldn't discount women right now too. Good luck figuring it all out mate.
No, i have a hard time getting connected emotionally with girls, and i really can't get romantic with them no matter how much they're enjoying being with me, but i am sexually attracted to them. But theres guys that i'm sexually attracted too, but also attracted to in ways that i've never been attracted to girls, but havn't had a chance to get romantically involved with.
So which are the guys you're sexually attracted to? Those in porn, the blog, youtube, the few if any around you or most of those categories?
Im sexually attracted to the guys who are more femenine, but not full out drag queenish guys. I'm a really masculine guy, and can't really see myself with someone exactly like me because im a protective guy and just feel like even though we'd both be guys, i feel the need to be the masculine one. And im just really attracted to the thinner, femenine guys like in the blog and youtube.
