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Freaking out ...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Valarie, Nov 11, 2012.

  1. Valarie

    Valarie Guest

    So, it is my birthday today

    so, me and my sister went out shopping yesterday (since she wasnt working yesterday, but was on my birthday) for clothes, first time to look at female clothes out in public

    I was doing good, but then it hit me and i had to leave the store so i wouldnt have a mental break down right there ...

    It took me like hours to calm down
    thought i was ready to do this with my sister, really wanted to, but just cant yet XC

    i care to much for what everyone thinks, or possibly thinks, over think things and dont have the complete confidence and everything yet ...
    -.-

    has anyone else felt like this, and/or what you did in order to be more comfortable etc.
     
  2. 11 11 11

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    Happy birthday. It was my birthday today as well....wish I had someone who'd take me shopping :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    Anyway, as for feeling so self-conscious you can't do anything gender related in public, I can completely empathize.

    That's largely the reason I don't go out in public these days xD

    I will say though, my advice for trying to combat such feelings - is learning to occupy yourself. Often it feels as though everyone's paying attention to what you're doing, and with that comes the fear of discovery and possibly ridicule. The best way I've found, to keep your mind of that possibility - is to occupy it as much as possible. If you have an ipod or MP3 player, listen to your favorite tunes, and try to be utterly immersed in the music (do keep an eye on where you're walking). I find myself wearing more garments with hoods these days, perhaps because it makes me feel 'safe' from watching eyes. Another friend of mine swears it helps her stay calm just to chew gum constantly. (Either that or she just does it to irritate me.)

    Try and find little unobtrusive things you can do to insulate or distract your mind - without seeming rude, and I'm sure you'll start to feel more comfortable.
     
  3. J Snow

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    Hey, yeah I'm super worried about what people think. I'm terrified about stuff like that. I wish I had advice, but I'm horribly shy and worried about what others think too >.<

    I know it does get easier though. Just give it time and you'll get better at it (*hug*)
     
  4. Amicus

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    First off, happy birthday!

    Now, regarding what other people think: one of the most beautiful and liberating things that I've ever realized is that the vast majority of the time, people don't care about what you're doing. Even if they notice you, the moment is very brief. Maybe they see you buying female clothes and think, "That's strange." Or maybe they think, "She must be starting to transition. Good for you, honey!" Then they promptly return to thinking about their kids, or how hungry they are, or how they can't wait to get off work, etc.

    You can also think of it in terms of cost-benefit. Sure, some people might think you're strange...people that you'll almost certainly never meet again, people who even if you did meet them again would most likely not play a prominent role in your life. Now, it seems to me that possibly weirding out a few random strangers is a very worthy price to pay for you to be able to take home female clothes and become the person you want to be.

    But this all takes time. You don't just get confidence by running out to the market and buying some. It only comes when you expose yourselves to situations that scare you and come out alive. You did a wonderfully courageous thing by going to the store to look at clothes. Just try to push it ahead by bits and steps. Be kind to yourself: you're doing an excellent job so far! :thumbsup:
     
  5. Valarie

    Valarie Guest

    11/11/11 11:11:11
    best b-day ever, well last year

    yeah, the thing that holds me back the most is what i think others will think of me, even if i know they will be good with it
    thats the thing ive been working on the most with therapist, but yeah was still fun until i freaked out

    but anyways thanks everyone
     
  6. The Escapist

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    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!:wow::wow::wow::birthday::goodluck::bulb::thewave:

    Okay, so. I imagine that is scary. Actually, I really do. Sometimes I think what it would be like to buy from the men's section and it feels scary. Because of what people think.
    But if it helps, you have MY support! (*hug*)

    And you're right, that is an AWESOME birthday.

    ---------- Post added 11th Nov 2012 at 04:59 PM ----------

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!(!)(!)(*hug*)(*hug*):arrow:frowning2:!!):sunglasses::jawdrop: :newcolor: :music::wow::starwars:
     
  7. Rachyl

    Rachyl Guest

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

    You were very courageous to go and even try to buy clothes. That was awesome!

    It all takes time, just a little bit at a time. (*hug*)