So basically I graduated high school last year and am still living at home. The plan was to leave by september but that fell through and now I feel like I'm stuck here and will never leave. I was supposed to join the military but due to some physical problems, I have been unable to. If I do end up joining, it won't be for several months and then I would have to wait several more to actually ship. I have also considered just going to college. I had really good grades in high school and definitely could get into some good schools but again, I wouldn't leave until fall next year. My mom is super judgmental and basically whenever she is feeling bad she makes sure I'm feeling bad too. She doesn't even know I'm gay and I shudder to think what would happen if she found out. The problem is that no one else sees that she is so terrible. She has become a master at hiding and pretends that everything is totally fine in our family. I just don't know if I can take almost another year with her. I have always been able to roll with the punches but lately it's been getting to me. I feel like a failure all the time and I just want to get out. I guess I'm not really expecting advice. I just needed to get this out before I freaked out.
*hug* do you feel better now that you rant? Can you fake feeling bad after your mom's judgmental discourse?
Well I would say do what would do you good in the future, I would say college, I know how you feel with your mom, and boy it can get really aggressive, I'm sorry that you are really stressed and sad right now I hope you get better, also to get away from your mother or anything in life. Try something or anything to get out of the house, if you have some trails or a nice neighborhood walk around your town with nothing but your clothing and an iPod/ active imagination. Set yourself loose, and don't let anyone clip your wings (*hug*)
