Well lately I've been feeling really stressed and depressed. My friends all yell at me. They treat me like crap. They make fun of me. When I told them I was on the verge of suicide, they just yelled at me more and pushed me away. They make me feel worthless. I also told my boyfriend I love him. He said he doesn't feel it. That hurt. I also asked him if I was attractive to him....he said: I don't know. Ok, that also hurt. I feel a psychical numbness washing over me because of depression. My boyfriend is really supportive, but when he says stuff like that...it makes me feel worthless, unwanted, and alone. He's there for me when I cry, but sometimes, it's because of him. I can't lose him because he makes me really happy and when we're together we act like complete funny idiots I'm getting a therapist because of my cutting and suicidal thoughts...I guess that's good. I'm really trying to see the bright side of life, but with everyone bringing me down it's hard. I also might be home schooled because of bullying. I guess I'm just asking for help?
Good for you for searching out a therapist. Having someone you can talk to about what you're experiencing and feeling is a good start. Sounds like you're going through a tough time right now but hang in there. Life has ups and downs and just because you are down right now doesn't mean you'll stay that way. As for the bullying that is not cool! Have you talked to your parents about it? I know when you're already feeling down insults and words can hurt a lot. Hopefully some talk therapy will be of help with your depression. Your boyfriend sounds like he may be having difficulties with your depression. His comments seem harsh but keep in mind being around someone experiencing depression is not all that fun. Focus on getting well and then you can work on your relationship. Feelings of worthlessness, being unwanted and alone may be a part of the depression you are going through. If we can be of any help just tell us how and we'll be here for you. Take care.
I'm glad you are being open with your parents and that they are taking you seriously and doing what they can to try to help. I'm really sorry you are going through all this. Those bullying you are assholes. You're at the age where this type of thing happens and life will get better as you get a bit older but I know it is hard to keep that in perspective when you are going through the tough times. If you feel up to it, think about going to a movie or on a date with your boyfriend to get your mind off all that is going on. Tell your boyfriend how much you appreciate him being there for you and let him know you are getting help and making changes. Acknowledge that you haven't been at your best the last little while and that you need to get better so you can strengthen your relationship with him. Keep acting like complete funny idiots! Laughing is good for you.
