I am gay and my best friend is straight. I dot have feeling for him or anything like that and until yesterday our relationship has been really good. But this past weekend (as he was drinking a lot) he told me and some of our gay friends that he has had gay thoughts and so on. Immediately, I tried to shut him up because our gay friends are more of the "fresh meat" kinda guys. Anyway I guess the advise I need is how do I go talk to him about what he said while drunk? Mind you be is the type of guy that doesn't offer emotion or talk about what is bothering him. I guess the thing I am having trouble with is that while he was in the "zone" he was touching everyone's privates to get a feel for the gay side I guess. But I wouldn't let him at first. Eventually he kept on trying and succeeded. Know I feel wierd about it but to him it seems as if nothing has changed. But I can't get it out of my head that I did something wrong. I'm not saying it would be a bad thing if he was gay. But it seems like our relationship has changed internally rather than externally. I don't know if I'm just rambling or if it makes sense but if it does please help.
I'm a little confused... what exactly is wrong with him having same-sex thoughts and wanting to act on them? What are you concerned about him for? An important thing to remember is that drunk thoughts are still the person's thoughts - they just wouldn't come to light otherwise. Being drunk doesn't make them any less legitimate. That said, if you have concerns for him, if he's your best friend I'm sure he'll be alright if you bring it up in the context of "this is what you did, and this is why I'm concerned, since you're my friend". Just be open and honest with him.
I think you should bring it up, because I cannot think of a better person for him to talk about this. Your his best friend, and your gay, so you would be the perfect guy to guide him.
I have to agree with what's been said so far. First of all, getting drunk releases inhibitions on thoughts and feelings that are already there on some level. It doesn't really create new thoughts and feelings. I can understand your awkward feelings on your friendship, because if he does follow through and come out as Gay or Bi, it changes your perception of him on some level. A change of perception doesn't mean bad or good, it just means that you would be seeing a new side, and it does take a little bit of adjustment. I don't think there's anything wrong with bringing this up to him. I like the suggestion of saying, okay this is what you did when you were drunk, and moving on from there. He's your best friend, and if somebody's going to talk to him about it, I think that you're the right person. If this is preying on your mind as much as you say it is, then it's probably going to be a small cloud or buffer between the two of you until you resolve your feelings on this, so I think that talking about it would be a healthy way to help you deal with that. Good luck
Thanks for the replies. Much appreciated. I guess I should have gone into more detail. First off he remembers everything that happened. He was messed up but not just on alcohol. Don't get me wrong I don't agree or partake I'm just there to watch his back. I guess the problem isn't that he may come out but that he's not going to. It's against everything he was raised to believe. It took forever to get in good with his family not to mention the fact they all abandoned my friends brother bc he's gay. I guess the problem doesn't lie with him but with me. Those changes in perception that was talked about earlier has already happened and not for the better and not bc he may be bi or gay or whatever but bc this has torn our trust in half. I see straight people as brick walls your not going to get any where when your gay (relationship wise) but know that he's not the whole perception has changed.
