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I want to know who I am.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by viola13, Nov 11, 2012.

  1. viola13

    Regular Member

    Joined:
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    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Straight but curious
    So.... I have always held firm that if and when I fall in love with someone, I will love them for who they are, no matter who they are, but I have always seen myself as being straight. I am beginning to have doubts because a) I am starting to feel that my string of gay crushes are a sign that I may be looking for a significant other who is a little closer to home, if you know what I mean, b) I can appreciate the beauty of both genders (although I am not sure how much either of them "turns me on"), and c) Many people get the impression that I am a lesbian, and I wonder whether their observations are less biased than my own. The only reason why ask now is because I am tired of not knowing and being so noncommittal. I would like help figuring out, once and for all, who i am. (in this respect, at least.)
     
  2. ameliawesome

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    south jersey shore
    just curious, why have you always seen yourself as straight? maybe you are pansexual. also your post reminds me of myself in some ways. even though, as a little girl, i knew i liked other girls and had zero interest in boys, it took me until i was 24 to realize that i am completely homosexual. in high school i would say "i don't discriminate gender." that was my sexual orientation, if asked. i thought, like you, that i could fall in love with somebody without considering their gender. ultimately, i did realize that i do not want a romantic relationship with a man. i always thought it didn't make sense to close doors, it didn't make sense to limit myself or to refuse any opportunities for experience, but it also doesn't make sense to remain open to something that i have no interest in.

    you could try to gain some real experience with a lady, if you're a physical learner. or, if that seems like too much or not easily done, try visualization. imagine some experiences with another woman and pay close attention to how it makes you feel. compare it to how you feel with men. obviously i don't know how much sexual or romantic experience you have, so if you've never physically done anything with anyone then just flip on your imagination. if visualization doesn't help you then just let me know and i'll try again :slight_smile: also it helped me just to say out loud that i am gay. so you could try standing in front of a mirror and saying that you are different things until you figure out what feels right.