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It feels a bit weird

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Meg, Nov 11, 2012.

  1. Meg

    Meg
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    Recently it's all been a bit crazy, I really like this girl and I've only told one person that I like her at the moment.
    A bunch of my friends are trying internet dating and they've been pressuring me to give it a go to see if I can score some dates. Of course none of them know I'm bi and I'm currently into a girl. So have to keep coming up with random excuses to not join. It gets a bit tough at times!
    But I went running with my friend today and she knows I'm bi, and we happily talk about girls we find attractive (She's not gay or bi, but she is quite happy to talk about attractive women), and I'm quite happy discussing all this to her and stuff, but I'm hesitant about telling her that I really like this girl, I don't know why.
    Did anyone else have a similar thing as they were beginning to come out? I find it a bit weird to be honest haha
     
  2. Toffee

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    I'm only in the beginning stages of coming out and yes it does feel weird. It feels weird for me to say oh I find this woman attractive but I could say oh I find this guy attractive no problem.
    I think that if you didn't know someone very well you could just drop it into casual conversation "oh I'm looking to date girls and guys" but if you have known these friends for quite a while then you should probably tell them. You could also say that you're not looking to internet date because you've got your eye on someone at the moment but that is likely to prompt questions about who "he" is.
     
  3. Meg

    Meg
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    Yeah it's really weird. I think the thing about my friends is they think being bi is purely a sexual thing, so she may think I just want to have sex with girls. The idea of telling her I have this actual emotional attraction to women is a bit more daunting and I have no idea why! Gar!

    And yeah, the whole internet dating thing is really awkward. Worse case scenario I could log on and just not do anything about it :slight_smile:
     
  4. santaberry

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    That's what I was going to say. If you wanted to buy some time and get them off your back for a bit... make an account, throw some stuff up and then just say you haven't really found anyone you're interested in on there yet each time they ask.
     
  5. Meg

    Meg
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    Yeah might have to do that if they keep asking me to go on. I'm not ready to tell them I'm bi questioning gay just yet :slight_smile:
     
  6. Toffee

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    You may have to educate them on what being bisexual really means then because it's not just about sex. It seems they think being bisexual is just a lustful hedonistic thing.
    Tell them it's just like be sexually and emotionally attracted to a man... except it's a woman.

    It's probably more daunting tell your friend you have an emotional attraction to women because you are basically admitting that you are open to dating a woman long term and not just looking to make out in bars or have one night stands.
     
  7. Meg

    Meg
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    Yeah it's relatively new to myself as well, I always knew I've been attracted to women, but recently (and I suppose it certainly confirms my own thoughts of being bi) I've admitted to myself that I really can see myself in a long term relationship with a woman, I could see myself marrying a woman (assuming where I live makes it possible). I'm running with her again tomorrow morning and may have the courage to tell her then, or just talk about it all.