I struggle with depression and being in the closet and unable to fully be myself is not helping me at all. But at the same time, there are a lot of people in my family and life who would not approve of me being gay. Most of my close friends and (not extended. Many of then would be upset) family wouldn't cut me off or hate me, but they wouldn't be happy with it. We are very religious and they do believe it is sinful. I used to believe that. But they in no way hate gay people or anything. But it would still create stress. I'm just trying to figure out which option would cause less harm?
U in a not nice situation and I feel for u , while I have come out to a few friends ..my family is homophobic and I cant see how I can ever come out to them. Come out to the people u want to , u can come out to as many people as u like or as few. It's ur choice whether u choose to risk or not.
For me personally, coming out was the most stress-relieving thing I've done in years! It felt so amazing. At the same time, I also have extremely supportive parents and friends. I don't have a whole lot of experience with anyone reacting badly. I do think, however, that it's important to remember that your family loves you for who you are. Sexuality is only a small part of who you are. As you've said, a lot of people might not take it very well because they see homosexuality as sinful, but you also admit that you once felt the same way. Perhaps if your family learned that you're gay, they might change their minds about that just like you did. I'm not saying it would change their minds overnight. Some may never change their minds, but you never know. It's a tough situation. I think if you do decide to come out to your family, you should wait until you come out to a group of friends/teachers/people you trust first so that you've built up a support system. The bigger the support system, the more confidant you will be and better able to cope with what may come.
I believe that coming out is extremely important for your mental health. I came out at 16, and I consider that late. I think when you're about 23-24, you'll be wondering what you did with your life if you wait to come out. Sometimes what people who "disapprove" of homosexuality need is a close friend or family member to come out to them and tell them how they feel. It will create distress, because people who believe you are in sin with rationalize that their antagonism is helping your soul. This is not the case. It's based on questionable theology anyway. Not all Christian denominations believe that homosexuality is sinful.
If you think that coming out is a good idea then go for it. It will probably help you with the stress and depression. The most important thing is that you know you will be safe after you do. I don't plan on coming out to my parents until I am financially independent because there is a chance that they might throw me out but if your family and friends will be supportive then I would say go ahead and do it.
If the people in your family are never going to approve of you being a lesbian, you may as well tell them now - sooner rather than later. It may give them a chance to get used to the idea and even eventually accept you. Just be sure that you have friends or family to rely on if things don't go well. Good luck, I wish you all the best!
Thanks I think I'll come out to a couple more friends before any family. Probably my sisters and maybe my brother next. Parents last, I guess. Aaauugghh this is so stressful.
I agree, this can be very stress full. While I still consider myself to be questioning, the thought of coming out to my family, wife knows, is scary, espicially at 50. I know my two sons would be fine, they are both open. The rest of my family, brothers, sisters and mother would be quite different. I have already decided that I am not coming out to my mother. The rest maybe. But back to you. I cannot say I understand how difficult this is for you. but like others have said, I am sure it can be stress releaving. When I first talked to my wife I started feeling better and as we talk about it more I feel better and better. So to that point I can say in agreement that you will feel better as you move forward. Good luck and always stay true to yourself. Love Ron
I'd have to agree that you should at least tell someone, ironic as that sounds coming from me, if it wasn't for my best friend I don't know what I would do. As for your family I completely understand, but make sure you are at a stable please in your life before doing so. Both you & I are still living at home so there may be some complications. I've decided to come out the friends and keep it from my family for the time being till I can support myself. If it is a safe environment then I suggest you decide on your own how to come out to them. best of luck your only 16 & r already pretty brave in my opinion.
