So I wrote on two previous posts about the girl I have been crushing on for months now how I thought she was straight but I planned to tell her I was bicurious (and eventually tell her that I had feelings for her) but decided to wait until she got back from holiday but when she got back from holiday she told me she had had a holiday romance and slept with a guy over there which pretty much broke my heart. We met up for dinner and I ended up coming out to her and telling her I'd been so upset because I have a crush on her where upon she told me she was bisexual too and was attracted to me! All well and good you might think... Well now I am getting the impression she is avoiding me. That happened the weekend before last and I have text her to invite her out a couple of times since then but she has said she was busy or tired etc. I heard nothing from her this weekend (and bare in mind that I would hear from her practically every weekend prior to all this happening) so I messaged her "Hey" on saturday, just the word hey and she messaged me back saying she had massaged me but it must not have gone through (via a messaging app we use) saying she was staying at her parents and she would see me next weekend. I don't know whether to believe her to be honest. To top it off I have been stuck in bed for the best part of a week ill and in pain (I have a health condition which she is aware of) but since she has not initiated any contact with me she does not know this (she has told me in the past to tell her if I was really ill) and I don't feel I should contact her as I feel I would just be bugging her at this point and I do not think she feels the same way about me :tears:. What I think is going on is that she likes that guy in Australia and wants to be with him but doesn't know how to let me down :tears: I just wish she would be honest with me. What do you think is she avoiding me or am I being paranoid or what? :help:
Look, to be honest, in these situations you are best placed to tell if someone is avoiding you. You know her best, and your instincts could well be right. But looking from my third-party perspective, I think it's reasonable to assume that you are being a bit paranoid. Looking at this two-week window, she doesn't really seem to be avoiding you. It's only been two weeks. I know it's only Monday, but the fact that she has suggested that she will see you next weekend is a good sign that she is not avoiding you. If she was, I think she'd probably say "talk to you later" or something else that is less clear. As I said, it's only Monday, but by Thursday or Friday you'll have a fair idea whether she is avoiding you or not. And maybe she does like that guy in Australia, but I doubt enough to move there or anything. She mightn't even like him as much as you (after all, you're close friends), but she probably fell for him and is maybe trying to get over it before she commits to you. That could be a good sign. But as I said, this is all speculative. I often find that people tell me I'm being paranoid or I'm overanalysing stuff when eventually I find out that I was right. But still, even if you are right and she is avoiding you right now, she's probably just getting over her feelings for that guy and will meet up with you next weekend if she suggested it.
Maybe I am being paranoid or over analysing stuff... I honestly have no idea how strongly she feels about that guy but prior to me confessing to her she said he how he was so amazing and cool and she didn't want to see anybody else so it seems unlikely to me that she would suddenly consider dating me... I'm imagining that she is keeping up the relationship emailing and facebooking him everyday :tears: I don't know this I'm just speculating... I've been in a very similar situation as this before (with guy not a girl) and he had been emailing and messaging his ex girlfriend the whole time he was dating me and when I found out and confronted him about it he dumped me :icon_sad: And now my imagination is really running away with me because I think maybe she only said she liked me because she was drunk... I don't think she could have like me that much in the first place if she slept with him anyway... But on the other hand why would she say she liked me and get my hopes up like that? that would be imaginably cruel :icon_sad: Yeah I did also think that if she was avoiding me she would have put something more vague and not "see you next weekend".... oh I don't know :bang:
Sorry to hear about your being upset about this. But how brave that you were able to express yourself so openly to her. I've always found that the best way to figure out whether someone is avoiding me is to wait and see if they initiate contact with me. Try not contacting her and seeing what happens. If she is interested, she will seek you out. If not, you are giving both of you some space, which may be needed. If she hasn't gotten in touch with you by the time the weekend rolls around, maybe you could ask her whether she is avoiding you then. Sounds like you are comfortable with being direct like that. But most of all, remind yourself that she did say she liked you, so relax! That's a good thing. This is purely speculation, but maybe she is scared of facing her bisexual feelings? Considering you didn't know she was bi, maybe she isn't comfortable with talking about her sexuality, and so she's really just avoiding herself.
Thanks Adelaida, I think I am going to wait and see if she contacts me the only problem is that I am impatient and just want to know where I stand to be honest Waiting for her to contact is the best plan right now I just really am fearing the worst... if and when I do see her in person I will have to ask her about this, as you say be direct. She seemed ok with talking about it when she told me but you are right I've known her for months and she's had ample opportunity to tell me she's bi but instead would only talk about her ex boyfriends or her "ideal man" which is what lead me to think she was straight in the first place because I could not ascertain from anything she said that said was anything other than straight and believe me I really wanted her to be bi! If it gets to friday evening and she still hasn't contacted me I will ask if she is avoiding me. The least she could do is be honest.
