I am a straight man, and married to a beautiful, sexy woman. When she dresses up, I can get very horny just looking at her. She is bisexual, maybe 40%-90% lesbian (it depends on the day), but has never been with a woman. I read something recently where this woman was saying she was heteroromantic but homoerotic, meaning she wanted to be in a romantic but non-sexual relationship with a man, who didn't mind her having sex with women. This got me thinking, as it touched on many of my fantasies and secret wishes. This may sound very odd, but I like to imagine our relationship this way: I imagine my wife and I are best friends, we talk, we do things together, we hug and kiss and hold hands and laugh and cuddle, but rarely make love. She has a mistress - or more than one - who she is sexually active with. I see her doing her makeup and dressing up sexy for a girl date, and I get horny, but she goes out or her girlfriend comes over and they go behind a closed door, then later on when her date is over, she tells me about it, and I have to play with myself. Maybe she sees her friend once a week, or maybe even almost daily, but has sex with me only occasionally. I imagine this makes me pretty weird, but I'm interested to hear what women think of this.
Hello. That is rather unrealistic concerning bisexual women, as we ARE sexually attracted to men and generally want a monogamous relationship like most straight women do. Not that this couldn't happen depending on the couple, everyone's different. However it's perfectly fine to have fantasies. Your wife might even indulge you a little if you two are into that sort of thing. Perhaps role-playing with made-up stories? The same as straight women, I'm not talking about actually going outside the relationship. Again, unless you two are consentually into that. But just your usual fantasy play. If your wife is open-minded I'm sure she wouldn't mind you discussing this with her, just be respectful about her orientation. This isn't a kink to her, it's who she is. Not sure what else to say here, but generally speaking bisexual women aren't any different than straight women. Only your wife could have ended up married to a woman instead of a man. Kind of like being able to like people with blonde hair AND brunette hair.
^ I think The Escapist put it wonderfully. Anything legal in your relationship you choose to do is up to you two, so long as it's consensual. Now, I think it's important to remind you that women don't exist to help "get you off", and if your wife wants to have sex with a woman, she should be doing it for her, not for you. It's one thing to entertain other kinks/fetishes/fantasies when they just involve you two, but this one also involves another woman, and you need to be really considerate of her concerns. Like The Escapist said, a person's orientation is not there for your benefit - it's just who they like. So while you and your wife might be fine with this idea, you're also potentially toying with someone else's emotions, and that's dangerous ground.
It also sounds to me that you want to be a sub to her--to have her control whether or not you get to have sex, etc. That's something of a long-term role play you might have to look over...
Hi there. In case you want my two cents' worth, here it is: You have a kink? That is totally cool. The relationship you're imagining may or may not be possible, depending on your wife's preferences. Either way, it's okay to imagine it and want it, so long as you have clear distinctions between reality and imagination. If your wife does want to have sex with women, just keep in mind that you and she and the other woman all need to know what the situation is, and give informed consent.
Hey Ron, as a married man who did things similar to what you're fantasized about, I'd like to share a bit. First thing: as long as your fantasy is kept only in YOUR head, it's safe. It will remain exciting, perfect and such. As soon as it gets out of the boundaries of your head alone, you risk to have it changed, mutilated, destroyed, rejected, put down, it may even prove to be much less exciting than you expected and could put your marriage at risk. That's true for all fantasies. However, if you're the practical kind who really sees things coming ahead in advance, and that you are very ready to face all sorts of disappointments, you could take the risk to try and live your fantasy. Lower your expectations, make your fantasy more realistic, think of the little annoying details that could get in the way. Then if you're still daring to give it a try... talk with your wife. Attempt a fantasy sharing conversation, see how yours fits with hers and poke at the idea of realizing a common fantasy that you have. You need to be very selfless, patient and respectful. Don't be childish and don't be mad at her if she receives the idea badly. Remind yourself that you chose to risk your fantasy and that you are ready to be disappointed if need be. It's a possibility that she's not much into what you're proposing, but that if she has something else in mind that you're not much into yourself, you could compromise and do a bit of both. So, once something is agreed, set firm rules together that both parties feel at ease with. All the What if? questions need clear answers. Then.. Go for it! As a man I really do understand where you come from though. I also have a very understanding wife who happens to be very open minded and who is bisexual, so I've been lucky enough to be able to have lots of sexual fantasies come true with her. The trick is to really have your expectations lower, take your time, and great communication. I honestly wish you luck!
