How long did you stay in denial?

I was good at ignoring it until I fell in love with another girl at 18... Even then I denied it until I was 19 and couldn't anymore. For a year I tried to deny I was in love with the same sex... until I was having a break down and finally accepted it.

 

My first memory of knowing I'm gay was when I was 12, It took me until I was 20 to quit lying to myself, and I have just been slumping along ever since. I don't know if this is what your asking for but I hope this helps

 

I already knew I was different in elementary but when I got to the start of high school I met a girl who definitely proved I was gay:icon_redf got so scared I dove back in the closet. In my deference there was a lot going on with my family then and I was in survival mode. B though that's no excuse for the way I treated her. Although we've been able to talk it on this part year, the reality is we both hurt each other.

 

I started thinking I might be gay when I was 12/13 but didn't come out of denial until I was almost 18, a little over a year ago.

 

Two years. From 14 to 16.

 

I knew that I was not straight when I was 14. I went into denial because the church that I attended said that being LGBT ment you were going to hell.

So, I began accepting myself when I was 18. I now fully accept myself at 19.

I came out of denial because I got into an argument with my youth director. I realized how dumb his argument sounded. I went and did some research and then found out that I really didn't believe in Christianity anymore. In my case, letting go of my beliefs helped me come to terms with myself. (It dosen't work like that for everybody.) Many people's religious beliefs have helped them come to terms with their sexuality.

 

I was in denial about myself from age 13-24... 11 years. I knew I was attracted to the same sex as early as 12 or 13. But I was also attracted to the opposite sex as well. I had a long period of fear and repression in my teens. I was really religious for much of that 11 year time span. I did try to tell my parents that I might be gay when I was 15, but they responded by sending me to a Christian Therapist recommended by Focus on the Family. It wasn't reparative therapy, but the bastard did say it was a choice and the alternative a sin. So that send me back into denial for nearly a decade.

I knew deep down that I wasn't straight all through that time, but I kept telling myself that I liked girls so that couldn't be true. I never brought it up with my parents again, and remained in denial even after moving out of the house. I have dated girls, and liked it, but never been past 3rd base. I have never tried anything with a guy but have certainly had crushes on them.

The fear of being gay kept me from really dating a girl seriously, and it hung over my head like a dark cloud. It seriously haunted me every day.

But I reached my turning point while I was in the Peace Corps in Africa for 27 months. I had so much time in my own head, that if I was unable to make peace with myself, I would go crazy or spiral into depression.

I was able to notice patterns in my behavior and attraction first, and kept a regular journal. Then, I lost my faith. I just stopped believing it after awhile. Suddenly I felt free from my own judgement and that of God. At the same time, I began to read articles on Male Bisexuality, and suddenly everything clicked. I had not been lying to myself about being attracted to girls or guys, both were true! I have been home now for about 5 months, and have devoted the last month to coming out to friends and family. All that remains is coming out to my parents. But despite that hurdle, I feel better and more free than I ever have. I have nothing hanging over my head anymore, no dark secrets to keep, and it feels great!

I hope you are able free yourself as well. Keep us posted!!

-The Seeker

 

I started realising that I liked girls during my freshman year of high school, and I was in denial for about 7 years, until this summer.

 

I knew I was gay when I was about 15 or 16. But I was in denial about it till I was about 21 or 22 when I started dating this one girl, it made me realize I really was gay.

 

I went back and forth in accepting myself for about four years before i got sick of it and gave up. I'm now totally sure and don't ever doubt it like i used to.

 

The whole of highschool (13-18) until I started uni in a different country and met LGTB friends, and realized "its ok to be gay", I came from a closed-minded society.

 

I was in denial from about 12 to about this summer. I'm 17.

It wasn't very stressful for me because I was totally, and I mean totally, convinced that I was going to find "the right girl".

Then I fell in love when I was 15. I fell really hard for someone and realized that I didn't want a girl, I wanted him, he was irreplaceable and could never compare to a girl.

The stress came after I came out. But I'm okay with being gay now

 

I was 19 when I knew for sure that I was gay, but I entered into a relationship with a guy. Long story short, we had kids, tried the family thing. However, it did not work, it wasn't the type of life that I wanted for myself. I'm seeing a girl now, but meh that's another story lol. So, I was in denial for 4-5 years.

 

Between relapses of denial sometimes, I'd say about six months or so. I was scared of my family members' reactions, until I fully understood that if they really loved me, they would love me for who I am, and not what I'm "supposed" to be.

 

I noticed I was attracted to girls sometime in middle School. I acknowledged it and did a bit of research online, but it freaked me out. I had even fooled around a bit with a girl :/ (not proud of this- not because she's a girl but because I was so young and it goes against my religious beliefs). A couple days later she texted me and asked if I was bisexual. She is and I guess wanted to know if she could ask me out. I wish I had said yes, but I said no. I'd been trying to convince myself I was straight up until a few months ago. But I doubted my heterosexuality all the time while in denial.

 

I started to notice things were different pretty early, but dismissed them until about 16/17 when I started to acknowledge to myself that I liked guys. I still didn't call myself 'gay', and told myself I liked girls too until 18 when I came out to myself and to friends.

 

Accepted it in 7th grade, but denied it shortly after and dated men until my junior year of college. Now I'm a senior and I'm just confused. I have a date with a really nice guy, but I don't know how far it will go.

 

7/8 years from middle school to high school.

elementary dont count since idk what is gay or look at porn lol

 

I'm... ahem... still pretty deep in denial. I started a long-term crush on a girl in HS,when I was 14ish, I'm 21 now. So I think I can say I'm pretty sure I'm not "straight," but since I am still romatically/sexually attracted to men, it's been easier for me to carry on this way and identify as straight literally everywhere outside of EC.