This is a little long, I have quite a bit to get off of my chest. I have this friend, who I'll call V. I just met V at the start of this school year, and we've been getting along wonderfully. We have more in common than I have with many of my other friends, and I know we could be really great girlfriends. But I don't know how I feel about her. For the months I've known her, I haven't been able to work out if I like her or not. Sometimes I get the classic signs of a crush, but it can be days between when I get them. Coming out to her doesn't feel like a very good idea right now, because of the short time we've known each other, and that could be a lot to dump on her. Plus, I feel like I've dropped enough hints (some on accident) for her to some idea that I'm not really into boys. IE: Talking about how much I don't like the boy who has a huge crush on me, mentioning that I should my plaid shirt more often, and saying that most boys don't like me or assume I'm lesbian. (It made sense in the conversation.) One of the problems with this is that I've never dated anyone, boy or girl. So I have no idea how to flirt or let V know that I might want to be more than friends. I'm useless when it comes to romantic situations, and I don't even know how to deal with the straight boy that has a crush on me. I can only remember one time when anyone has expressed romantic interest in me, but nothing happened because it would've ruined the friendship. Plus, I keep getting these weird mixed signals from her, like one day she grabs my wrist, calls me 'darling' in a silly voice and runs with me to class so were not late. And literally the next, she acts like nothing even happened. :bang: I've talked about this a little bit with my psychologist (I'm seeing her specifially about LGBT stuff), and she suggests that V may be trying to exparament with someone she thinks is 'safe.' (her words not mine.) The only solution I can see so far is to wait it out and see what happens, but I have a very stressful month and this is just one more thing that is making me upset. And sometimes I feel like if I don't do something I'm going to :***:-ing explode. I'd love to hear an alternative or any advice about what I should do here. :help:
Hi!:smilewave After carefully reading your story I can at least say that I understand your frustration. You probably feel at loss as to what to do next. For that, I'm going to try to offer you a new point of view; V's probable point of view. Chances are she feels exactly like you do! Getting headaches out of trying to send subtle signs and trying to not misinterpret yours, she probably balances between thinking you are oblivious or just not interested. Yet she doesn't feel at ease enough to drop the bomb on you, so to speak, because she feels that it's too risky. What I suggest is to grow some balls and take a chance, invite her on a date and make it quite obvious that it's a date and not some girly gathering. Be daring, be romantic, be like a gentleman. Impress her. tip: if you can think of something that you wish she would do to you, do it to her. ...I know that at your age, that would be very risky for your reputation and such, and if she decides to put you down you could have an hard time at school for a very long time. However that's still the best suggestion I can give you because people who dare nothing get nothing. I wish somebody would have given me that tip back then :goodluck:
i agree with the person up.... lol i'm in the situation where i was oblivious/saw it coming signs... and now i'm scared shitless of how to make a move back without any fear attached to it... ive told another friend of mine and he said i need to grow some damn balls.... we should do that together... LOL but seriously... its alot harder then said, right? Good Luck to us.
This is really good advice, thanks for writing so much. While 'dare nothing, get nothing' makes a lot of sense, and this sounds like the exact opposite of what you're telling me; I actually think I should give it a week just to be sure. Mainly because she's one of the few good friends I have right now, and I'd hate to scare her away. But if I have a chance, I'll take it.
