Hi all, Without bring crude, my body (I'm a guy) registers when I see a guy without any clothes on yet I feel nothing whatsoever when I see a guy who's clothed. I don't notice guys at all when I'm out and about, it's as if they are invisible to me. Women on the other hand seem to take up my entire field of vision. I look at them all the time, check them out if you will. I get jealous when I see women I like talking with others, I don't feel this in relation to guys. I have never fallen in love with a guy and can't imagine living a life with them whereas I love everything about a woman, the way she moves, her voice, the feel of her hair, her smell. I get butterflies in my stomach around women and sometimes can't get any words out at all lol, my heart races and I go weak at the knees. I get a tingling and a warm feeling goes through my body and I can't take my eyes off her. I never get wood over a woman though. I can get pre-cum but never an erection. So, I get erections for naked men but nothing for women clothed or naked though a woman in a short dress makes me feel warm sensations through my body and I find it hard to get my breath. I never think about sex with either yet when I've had the chance with guys, the idea leaves me cold, no reaction whatsoever and given any chance with a woman I take it but always baulk at going all the way even though my body wants it. I have absolutely no understanding of what I am at all. I've watched gay porn and there is some kind of response though only when I watch anal sex and the only porn with women I can get turned on by is lesbian porn. If I see heterosexual porn with the same woman in it, I feel very little. I have no understanding of what I am when everyone else seems to find their sexuality clear cut and I have to be honest, it's really getting me down. I just want to know what I am. Thanks for listening, Gionathan.
No one's replied thus far and I guess it's not an easy post to respond to so you can imagine how all of this makes me feel, as this is what's going on inside of me every day, no respite at all. It's stopping me forming relationships because I just don't know who or what I am. I should have a better understanding by now, however I don't. Very confusing indeed.
You're Gionatan, as simple and complicated as that. You don't ever have to label yourself, you may simply.. like who you like. I will tell you that not everyone finds their sexuality clear cut. SOOOOOOOO many people are confused with it. You are not alone. So let's see... You could be some form of bi/sexual. Something like heteroromantic homosexual but maybe not all the way. So women are attractive to you romantically? And men sexually, but only without clothes? I'm not sure I understand the sex part, are you saying you do want to have sex with women or that you do not have that particular desire?
I agree, don't go into labels. You might be a bit bi, you might not be. Trust me, it's not worth the hassle. I know many straight guys that have similar worries, nothing is ever black and white.
Hi TheEscapist and Lewissss, thanks for replying. In reply to, do I want to have sex with women? The answer is yes when it's offered however I don't think about having sex with either gender. It's like when in the situation a drive appears that isn't there normally. I've been offered sex by men but I haven't wanted to pursue it, not out of any fear but because there's been no feeling there at all. When offered sex with women, I've got turned on and I've been able to go some way with them but I can't penetrate them in an active sense ie I can't for want of better words 'top' them, I can only function if I am submissive to a woman. I am sort of straight-ish yet passive within that, I feel weird writing this but I kinda like being the passive partner with a woman. I am totally dominant until the penetrative part and then I can't *plunge* Sorry to be so graphic but there's no way round it.
Welcome to EC! First off, while we are an active forum, it tends to come and go in waves... so don't be surprised if your thread hasn't gotten any response in 3 hours. As you said, maybe some people really just don't know what to say. People have already said it, but you really don't need to label yourself. If you do, then the basic criteria for being gay/bi is if you're sexually attracted to men. That means you get a physical response (i.e. an erection) and probably some sort of sexual desire associated with it. And none of us can answer that question for you; only you can, with some honest self-searching. I will point out though that just because you'd rather be submissive than dominant with a woman, it doesn't mean you're any less "straight". Sure, it might not be the most common trait of straight guys, but it doesn't make you any less straight - you're still enjoying sex with a woman.
Hi justgowithit, yes life sure is at times :icon_bigg Hi BudderMC :smilewave I consider myself to be rigorously honest and yes I have to admit that I do get erections looking at men's butts though nothing else so there is an element of homosexuality within me though it's not enough to act on and I have explored that avenue. The men I feel drawn to basically look girly and the women I'm drawn to are the very pretty elfin type lesbians, who are also flat-chested and boyish so that does make me wonder whether there's more homosexuality within me. I've been really thinking about this. Most of the women over the years that I have felt that incredible connection with, that melt in your mouth falling in love thang have either been gay themselves yet often didn't know it at the time or I found out later that they were and didn't know it myself at the time. Or they fall into another category of being wholly unattainable and so there's been this dream-like romantic fantasy going on. It doesn't however explain that as a kid I was always getting in trouble for touching up the females I grew up with where I lived, I was always groping them or trying to get their clothes off. What is unusual though is that growing up I knew everyone who was gay and lesbian around me. I didn't know about it or have a name for such things then but I knew the boys who liked boys and the girls who liked girls. This was borne out later when I saw each of them having grown up and gone our separate ways, all of them were with same-gender partners. If I'm honest, I can't say that I am gay and I certainly can't say I'm straight. Am I bisexual though because, even when the opportunity presents itself, I have no desire to take it further. I don't think there are any labels for me in relation to what I feel, I think as has been stated I am simply Gionatan. Otherwise there would have to be a new box to tick which went something like this .... Hetero-romantic, Bi-flexible Demisexual lol and what a nightmare that would be. I'm going to just go with the flow from now on and not give it a thought really. It will either pan out or it will always be muddled, I think the trick is though not to add more muddle to it by worrying. Thanks everyone, I really appreciate it (*hug*)
