Am I coming out too quickly?

Hm... I suggest you take the Kinsey test. That should help you a bit.

And, besides, you can be anything you want. Gay, bi, hetero-romantic gay, etc... Most likely you really are unsure, but if you already gave thought on being gay, there could be a chance that you are part gay.

Wrapping it up (because I'm sleepy), you said that putting all the cards on the table makes it impossible to go back. But it doesn't mean you can't flip them. When you get your mind made up, just go and be sincere with the people you already talked too. Chances are, if they accepted you as being gay before, they will accept that you were confused too. Some will even be willing to help you. So I would call the situation that you're in pretty comfortable from my point of view, since you're technically on a neutral point (from what I could take from your post).

Now, about deciding whether you're gay or not stays in the hand of another person. That's not my speciallity

 

Because you can see yourself sexually with I guy I would say you at least bi. You might even be gay. I believe that most people are partially bi (gay or straight) and that causes confusion, especially for people like you and me....I went through/still am going through what you are.

A while ago I would have been harder pressed to see myself in a relationship with a guy despite being more attracted to them. And I think I figured out why. I wasn't used to seeing it examples of it, in my subconscious it held the view of: one guy, one girl= relationship. I was able to break that down and now I can see myself in a relationship with a guy- in fact I want one! This could be different for you but I did it by watching short films (with gay characters), and tv shows (queer as folk, the new normal and glee). And I don't know why but seeing the relationships made me more comfortable with it I suppose, and gave me examples (which were important for me) that are everywhere for straight relationships but uncommon for gay relationships. And now I've even gone on a few dates

Another point you made was that your looking at girls more now. And I thought the same thing after I came out but if you haven't figured it out yet I try to figure out reasons behind things So I figured out my personality was to blame in two ways.
1.I wasn't looking at that many more girls, I was just making a bigger deal out it all.
2.My personality was doubting myself (damn low self esteem) and that was causing me to really focus on how I viewed woman, if I viewed them sexually, etc. which made it seem I was looking at girls more.

I came out as bi with a preference for guys about a month ago and although I have more thinking and experimentation to do, I do feel like I'm gay (maybe a 4.5 on the Kinsey scale). Take your time and try to look at why your feeling anxious (it could just be your personality too) But also know that there is no rush to figure things out- take your time and try not too worry too much! Let me know if you have anymore questions or if I missed something(s)

 

I will be honest, I'm not one who totally understands the depth of the "bisexual" man. I put it in quotes because while I have talked to guys that I feel are REALLY bisexual, in that.. they have a constant conflict between feelings for men and women that are equal in every way. Apparently, you can be bisexual even though you don't desire to be with men relationship wise (doesn't make sense to me) I'm being honest here and not trying to be ill at all with this. The way I feel about it is it's used as a technique to avoid the ridicule of being gay. Which in actuality, bisexuality is more detestable to the average person when it regards a man. So far from what I read, sounds like you're gay and wanting to find an escape route or some alternative to it. In your mind, you have blocked out the thought of loving a man because it's not your perception of what you SHOULD do. Maybe you're not sure, but you know deep down you are sure. I look at girls too, I think sometimes, "damn, this would be much easier, much more natural" However, the attraction is more of an admiration for beauty. I like to keep things simple, if you can be attracted to women, want to have sex with/relationship with, I would rather consider the person to be a sex addict if they just want to have sex with men and no feelings involved. (just saying what I'm gathering) The reality of bisexuality is that there really are a small amount of people who actually are. It's the middle ground to admitting you're gay for a lot of guys. It's a part of that.. I need acceptance from others pit we all fall into on occasion. I think you should ultimately live life and let that be the judge. In my honest opinion, this contrast in bisexuality is why they are not getting the same kind of support from the community. Because they will allow terms to be created suggesting it's a part of being bisexual to be turned on by men, only to fuck them. I don't agree with that, meaningless sex should not be labeled seeing as though as humans, we have the innate ability to be in love, be the loved and be nurturing. This was on my mind so.. lol. yeah.

 

Bisexuality is often termed as a stepping stone between gay and straight for a lot of men, but that doesn't mean it is for a lot of men. Statistically speaking, there's about 5% of the male population who are gay, and about 3% who are bisexual (from the last study I saw over the summer). In women, those numbers are flipped.

There are plenty of people who have sexual desire but no romantic desire for a specific sex. Now, could you justify that as major internalized homophobia and the effects of the society we live in? Sure. But bottom line, the cause of what they're feeling doesn't really matter, it's the fact that they are feeling it. Those people are sexually attracted to men and women - "bisexual". They're only romantically attracted (for whatever reason) to the opposite sex - "heteroromantic". Regardless, they're still bisexuals.

The point of all this is that the bisexual population is still significant, and to disregard those people who identify as such is quite disrespectful. Just some food for thought.

 

It's not disrespectful to me when there are definitions within a definition. I don't support labeling it the same way. I'm very candid about it. Not all desires are worth pursuing. We're not talking about a dildo here, it's a guy who has feelings. Now, if you want to mess around with a guy that has the same take, I understand that. To the general public, it's confusing to say that you're bisexual with no relationship attraction to one of the sexes in my opinion. I, personally.. would not pursue someone who wouldn't love me back, this is all fine and dandy if the other person agrees to it, but the reality is that a lot of these "bisexual" guys aren't going to tell the guy they're fucking that they don't want anything to do with them emotionally.. a lot will keep them on that string and are selfish. Not saying this is him, by all means.. I'm not a judgmental person. This one topic however grinds my gears and brings me back to the argument of, if I had the ability to love a woman and feel attracted to them sexually, I would do it. Self control would be no different than keeping my eyes off of other women in that scenario. The other thing is that, you'll never find a survey of guys that will HONESTLY comment about this topic. If you want something bad enough, you can work against yourself to the extent that you will settle with the opposite sex to pursue the "normal" lifestyle. You pretty much have to kill off who you are deep down before doing this, but it's more than possible. I don't believe that just 5% of men are gay and I also don't believe that 3% are bisexual. Especially when the common perception of being a man is to be the provider for a traditional family. We all had to cut ties with that notion when we accepted that we were gay. So I say, if you can't love a guy, then exhibit some self control.

 

If you don't see it as disrespectful, then so be it. But a lot of other people (EC members included) would find what you're saying disrespectful, so you need to be conscious of that. Generally speaking, around here people are allowed to say more-or-less whatever they want, but when groups of people (bisexuals, in this case) are getting offended - justified or not - then it becomes a problem. That was the point I was making.

A lot of guys, not all guys. Generalizing a group is dangerous ground to tread on, the same way I'm sure you'd be offended if people assumed you were a promiscuous flamer because you said you were gay. And besides, that trait of basically "playing" people is not exclusive to bisexuals.

Using the argument "you can do anything you want with enough willpower, but you'll be miserable in the process" is a really bad one. That's like saying "yeah, a meteor could actually hit earth and we could all die, but it probably won't happen". Extremes are not good evidence in defending your point.

And of course you'll never find people who will honestly comment about this topic, but that's moreso because the topics of sex and sexuality are incredibly tabooed in modern society.

Yes, the population of LGBT is probably greater than that ~7%, due to things like non-response bias, but that's what the survey said. Let me put it this way: people aren't going to lie on a survey saying they're LGBT when they're not, but may do the opposite. That ~7% is a pretty safe, low-ball estimate for the LGBT population.

What does the population of LGBT have to do with men being the "caregiver"? I don't know about you or your background, but I've done more goddamn caregiving in my family (and for myself now at school) than most teenagers should ever have to do. If we're talking about being the "man" of a household, then yeah, I've done that too. If the notion is about being successful, then I'm not giving that one up anytime soon; on the contrary, I'm probably more motivated to be successful being a minority.

I don't know what it is you're trying to prove. To create a connection between bisexuality and loveless sex is incredibly ignorant. If you've encountered guys like that in your life, then I'm sorry that that's the only example of bisexual men you have, but that certainly isn't the case for all of them.