1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

I think I might be transgender but im confused......

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Elliet Sterling, Nov 16, 2012.

  1. Elliet Sterling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    So I have identified as pansexual for the last three or four years.... all of my friends know but I haven't cone out to any of my family yet.... something has always been off though... there has always been something I couldn't quite put my finger on... someting I really, didn't like about being a girl.... I haven't been comfortable as a girl.. not entirely anyway.. there are parts I like and parts I don't.... I like my breats I'm not comfortable having a vagina if rather have a penis.... I don't really like identifying as a female but I don't want to only identify as a male.

    Recently i have started kinging and I love it... I am dating a guy who is on the slightly more gay side of bi but I'm not sure he would really like the idea of me changing my identity as he likes that I'm a woman... I am longing in a few shows in the next few months and I'm really looking forward to it.... I find im more attracted to men in drag than I am to just men or just women... I think I may be some form of transgender but I'm already confused as it is and not knowing ho to think of myself doesn't help.... I was ready to come out to my dad as pansexual when I started questioning who I am...

    Thoughts??
    Ideas??
    Help??
    I'm lost and confused....

    ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2012 at 12:12 PM ----------

    *kinging not longing

    ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2012 at 12:28 PM ----------

    I also feel like I should have figured this out a long time ago...
    . I guess it doesnt help that in my family stuff like this is taboo.... its just that when I was kinging for the first time it felt good.... it felt really good... I'm just not sure that every one would accept me.... I'm worried people wouldn't understand the change....
     
  2. Toaddy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2012
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Well, i am not personally a transgender but i think i know how you feel. I have a masculine mind and for awhile i hated my body and wished i was a man. I had a longing to really become male. Then i sat down and really asked myself if i thought of myself as a man. If you do the same to yourself you might find an answer. Hope this helps.
     
  3. Elliet Sterling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you... and I felt more myself dressed as a man than I do dressed as a woman.... but I know I'm not entirely a man.... I've pondered this for hours and I can't seem to make sense of it...
     
  4. Toaddy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2012
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    There is a difference between knowledge of the mind and knowledge of the heart. You might need to throw out rational thought for a little while and only focus on yourself.
     
  5. Elliet Sterling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    how do i do that?
     
  6. Toaddy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2012
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Well if you really know yourself it shouldn't be hard, but if you a difficulty with this you can just sit in a quiet space and really dig deep into yourself. just make sure not to judge the things you find there. keep an open mind and just explore. If you're still confused, give it time. you will fin out sooner or later.
     
  7. Elliet Sterling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    thank you... and if i still feel the way i do now after i do this?
     
  8. Toaddy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2012
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    Like i said, give it time. if you try to force it, it won't be true. I learned that the hard way. Just love yourself right now, no matter what you are, and focus on the person not the label. :slight_smile:
     
  9. Elliet Sterling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    thanks you again...
     
  10. Toaddy

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 3, 2012
    Messages:
    58
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minnesota
    No problem, :slight_smile: glad to help. I'm willing to talk if you ever need advice again. I'm sure there are a lot of people here that would contribute too. Good luck. :slight_smile:
     
  11. Elliet Sterling

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Nov 16, 2012
    Messages:
    6
    Likes Received:
    0
    yeah i found a link to a thread from this site about someone else who was confused and everyone seemed really helpful which is why i decided this would be a good place to ask for help to figure stuff out...
     
  12. GayJay

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 23, 2012
    Messages:
    538
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North West, UK
    There are other terms for someone gender identity that just transgender.
    Bi-gender, when you act male and female. It just depends on how you are feeling at that time really i guess.
    Genderqueer, catch-all terms for gender identities other than man and woman.

    If sometimes you like your female body and parts of it you may not want to lose. But sometimes you wish you were born male then you might fit somewhere into these terms rather than being transgender. I'm just saying think about it more before you label yourself. It may take time but things will make sense after a while i guess. Not saying your not transgender, you might be. Everyone dysphoria is different and it's possible yours doesn't affect how you feel about your breasts.