Lets call him X. I first met him at the beginning of this year, he is a close friend of my closest friends which are also my classmates (he is not). We usually see eachother when we hang out, go to parties, organize parties ourselves and such, since our friendship circle is basically the same we end up seeing eachother constantly. So... we've seen each other a lot throughout the year, to the point I consider him a close friend as well. My friends (and classmates) became aware of my sexuality shortly after we met (a matter of around 2 months) and...with that people like X ended up finding out as well. Nobody has any kind of problem with that and its treated with relative naturalism. So, everything alright to that point. X has had a few girlfriends since I became aware of existence, although he ends up dating women like that it is obvious its because of sex (we usually discretely joke about that lol), but hes a nice guy nevertheless. Ok, o.e I admit I always had a small crush for him... So, around 4 months ago he stopped with the girlfriend thing completely, and since then everytime we met he kind of passionately hugs me and hell that teases me a lot. It definitely is not a "friend" hug, he doesn't do that with other guys, and of course I love it lol. And that has been getting weirder. 2 days ago me and my friends passed by his house to check out the party he was giving, and of course he did that AGAIN. But then a few minutes later, I was a bit .. "vulnerable" and then COMPLETELY out of the blue, he came and hugged me again, and then for a bit longer. And says things like, joking "Duuude, You know I really like you even though you are into dudes" I don't get it, and he wasn't drunk at all o.e. I'm starting to think he might be curious about it and wants to "try it out" (not necessarily sex) with me or something. He is a very liberal guy, knowing him the way I know, thats quite a possibility. I just want the right moment to ask him if he would try it out with a guy just to see, or something. At some point I will ask. What do you think about this situation? Has something like that happened to any of you? Is he really into me or something or that sounds more like he wants to use me to "test" it out? Knowing how the guy is, if thats the case, he would go as far as sleeping with me and I wouldn't want that lol, no matter how handsome, cute, attractive and nice he is. Thanks, sorry for the HUGE post
Well if you're out as gay, then you shouldn't feel weird bringing this to his attention. Think of it this way, if this is a gay guy hugging you, wouldn't you want to know if he was interested? I would make no distinction between the two if you can tell the hug is a lot more than friendly. I would just jokingly put him on the spot and say, "are you flirting with me?" or you can actually talk to him if he's kind of immature, like if you think it would make him upset to be on the spot. Tell him how it makes you feel. One thing I don't mince words about and that's my feelings and emotions. Don't play with them. Not a toy. lol. So.. if you feel like he's coming on to you, put it out there in the open. Let him know it's okay if he's feeling a certain way and that you would welcome it. Be aware. That's a point of no return. If you fool around with him, it's going to be very hard to make the adjustment back into friendship. So really think about whether or not it's even worth doing.
This is a great advice. Yes, I was thinking about putting it out in the open, but now I'm really just waiting the right moment, which definitely wasn't last time (lots of people around and it was just a short visit). Hes a mature guy, he won't freak out or feel offended. And I guess you are right about not making difference about sexuality up to this point, I mean what kind of joke it is to full-body hug tightly the friend you are aware is gay >_>, plus I don't doubt he probably knows I think he is extremely attractive. In fact, this is what makes me wonder his intentions the most! If he knows I'm into him and he is doing that, then what am I supposed to think about it, lol. ---------- Post added 16th Nov 2012 at 07:42 PM ---------- Sometimes I feel bad to think I might be overreacting or creating fantasias around that, but then again, none of my male friends ever did that to me! Friend hugging for me (I hug almost exclusively my female friends) doesn't involve full-body (everything touching everything o.e), much less arms around, tight, and head laying down on eachother's shoulder (I always end up instinctively responding that affection) I mean, at least not everything happening at once lol
He's either interested in you out of curiosity or he's looking for attention. If it's stuff he did to you BEFORE you came out then I would say you were over thinking it, but you're usually not crazy when you think someone's into you. I know the difference between someone making something SEEM more than it is. In this case, if he's developed this kind of affection after learning about your sexuality, he's making a move of some sort. After I told my friend tim, he won't even let me really lay next to him haha. Not like he did before, but now he's definitely more aware of my gayness LOL.. which is cute.
Lol, yeah that is cute XD! Yup. He started doing this after he stopped dating the girls, as far as I am aware he has not dated any girls since then, and the hugs started to happen o.e. I'm not assuming he is not hanging around with girls anymore, that would sound crazy coming from someone like him lol. So do I, I'm actually feeling pretty slutty after I kissed 2 different mouths in the same night (1 girl, 1 guy) even though it wasn't anything beyond that, that was slightly more than 1 month ago. I still can't believe I did that Lol. I guess I will just blame my friends for dragging me into parties, hahaha. What you said about your friend Tim, maybe its the same case but inversed (to show ..some kind of "comfortableness" around me?). Still, I could swear he was aware of my sexuality waaay before? Weeeird, that just weeird. I will keep this updated, tomorrow I will probably meet him again, I hope, so I can figure this out >_<
Probably is. I tried to tell Tim way before we had our close encounters with each other but he couldn't grasp the concept lol.. so I let it go. He was asking me what kind of girls I liked and rattled them off by skin color, I just said no to them all and he just looked confused so I dropped it lol. That was almost a year before I told him officially but he told me when I let him know that he thought that's what I was trying to say to him but didn't feel comfortable bringing it up past that moment. So he's pretty much known and allowed me to come on to him. At this point it's not about whether or not I can have some kind of sexual fling with tim, it's more about preserving our friendship because it's really unique.
