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Not Confused but very (VERY) Introverted

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by cftxp, Nov 16, 2012.

  1. cftxp

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    Houston
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    For some reason, I have this preconceived notion that "coming out" should be an event or something like that. It feels strange to me that you have to have a celebration of sorts about revealing a small part of who you are (since I'm sure people are more than just their sexuality). Nevertheless, it's something I've always wanted to be able to do, problem is, I'm totally introverted and the thought that I'll lose some "friends" seems to devastate me.

    As both an empath and autistic, I feel that I wouldn't be able to control any of my emotions and I'll probably start IEDing (intermittent explosive disorder) the place if even one friend makes a negative comment (knowing the extreme Abrahamic influence around here that's a good possibility). So what do I do?

    I'm currently about to receive some therapy for learning social skills and depression control and so I don't know if I should do whatever "coming out" I know I should do before I start doing this (or even discussing my sexuality with the therapist for that matter).

    Part of the reason why I don't discuss this with most friends is because I know that there's a homophobic overtone among people around here and for some reason, I want to be considerate of their feelings and opinions towards me and this just leaves me at limbo.

    So if you could offer me any advice, that would be nice, and thank you. :slight_smile:
     
  2. Ticklish Fish

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    brief questions: Do you trust your friends? Have you and your friends discuss sexuality topics before that may give you idea about their positions?

    also, it doesn't have to be like super event lol...
    I came out to two friends on facebook.. and with one friend we talk about pokemon right after...
     
    #2 Ticklish Fish, Nov 16, 2012
    Last edited: Nov 16, 2012
  3. Bree

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    Would it be easier if the people who already knew told them? That way you wouldn't have to deal with anyone's first reactions, you could talk to them after they've already had time to think about it.
     
  4. cftxp

    Regular Member

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    I guess the reason I'm so reluctant is because I really don't talk about this type of stuff with friends, but knowing that most of them do have an affiliation with one of the Abrahamic religions, and the fact that I know only a few show their acceptance for their LGBT fellows, scares me to death. Though, the only way I'll ever communicate with most of my friends again would be Facebook, but even if I did want a grand event, people don't really see or care about what I write. Maybe the other reason why I don't just try to come out now is because it doesn't seem to make a difference either, there would be questions that I can't answer if I do that out of the blue. But yeah, TF, the only reason why I think that something like this would be a big deal is because for me, personally, I barely act like the stereotypical gay guy, I've never been called anything like a metrosexual, and it would be more believable that I have classic Autism than the fact that I'm gay. I mean, I kind of have to come out of two closets here, gay and autistic. :grin:

    As for your question Bree, it's not that simple with me since I have five groups of friends: one group consist of friends that I met throughout my time in a Christian middle school (who I know will cut ties with me in this case due to how they were raised), one group is made of friends who I met throughout my years in a public high school (I'm half and half with them when it comes to this), one group is made of family (my parents and sister just told them that I'm gay since they were in the Philippines), one group is made of great people I met online (they've known I'm gay since I immediately tell them), while a miscellaneous group has random individuals. There are maybe 2 or 3 people I know that fit in to 2 of these categories so there's not going to be much help when it comes to people I already know telling them since my online friends don't actually know the others.

    So there's my dilemma, but thanks Ticklish Fish & Bree for helping! :slight_smile: