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Confused :( Help

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by rainbow1, Nov 17, 2012.

  1. rainbow1

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    I am a 22 yo female. Growing up I was straight. I dated boys in high school, and had no problems although I felt more attraction toward women. In college, I learned it was okay to date people of the same gender, and I did, and I loved it! I am in a relationship now with a gorgeous woman who I love but sometimes I've been having thoughts about being with men. I feel guilty. I hate to perpetuate the stereotype, but I feel like I can't ever be happy with just one sex. Thoughts? Advice?
     
  2. fluidity

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    Hey.

    I think a lot of people 'grow up straight' because in society this is what we assume we are. This can leave residual feelings towards the opposite sex, especially from a romantic viewpoint. This leads to a lot of confusion and I think a lot of people who grow up assuming they're straight take some time discovering whether they are indeed bisexual, even once they've come to terms with being gay. Every experience is different obviously, but I'd say it sounds like you're feeling a need to explore this part of you, ale reconciling the sexuality you felt when you were younger with what you feel now.

    ---------- Post added 17th Nov 2012 at 09:31 PM ----------

    Sorry that posted too soon. I meant to finish by saying that if you think exploration is what you need then it depends how strongly you feel about your girlfriend as to whether you may want to split up with her to explore that. Alternatively, your last sentence sounds like you may feel a polyamorus (excuse spelling) relationship may suit you better. Many people are very happy in such relationships and there's no need to feel like a stereotype or feel bad in anyway. Being polyamorus and being bisexual are completely separate. But obviously that only works if your partner feels the same. Either way, never feel bad about how you feel, as long as you're open and don't hurt anyone with it then it can only make you happier. :slight_smile:
     
  3. runner

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    I understand what you mean. I have only dated guys before but I have never really been happy in any of the realtionships...it could be that we always want what he can't have...the main point is that you are only having thoughts about being with men and aren't acting on those thoughts...you can talk to your gf and see what she thinks