I've a thought that there is a possibility I was lesbian for a few years but I always pushed the thought away because I didn't think it was ok to be that. But reacently I've been thinking more and more about it and that it is more likely I am. Part of me is telling myself that it's just hormones or your standard teen experimenting blah blah (Im 17). But the other part is telling me to stop making excuses. I've never been in a real relationship but when I've had 'things' with guys I've always found myself disinterested in the relationship and just in it because thats what I was supposed to do. I always made excuses to be busy etc and generally wasn't interested in them. I also find myself interested in girls, I find it easier thinking about or imagining being with girls as apposed to boys in a sexual way.. I think. To be honest I dont really know. I thought about talking to my friend about it becasue we are so close but my biggest fear is it will weird her out, we have often joked in the past that we could be in relationship because of how close we are.. I just don't want to repulse her because she really means alot to me.. I dont do too well on the friend front.. I could really do with some advice is all, thanks.
My first piece of advice is just to relax. Neither lesbians nor bisexuals are bad people (it's those evil straight people who try to make you feel that way )...so if you are either, you're ok. It sounds to me like you're figuring yourself out pretty well...you know what you're not interested in and what you are interested in. Your biggest hurdle (it sounds) will simply be self-acceptance to the point where you feel comfortable experimenting with women. Take your time, and remember, it's ok...you're a good person, no matter *who* you're attracted to. Do be careful with coming out, either to a close friend or to anyone else. I'm NOT saying "don't come out"...just saying that you want the first person you come out to be someone you feel you can trust to be ok. That way you can build a support network slowly. Trust your intuition here (it sounds pretty good generally)...if you have concerns about your friend, maybe think if there's someone else you know you can talk to. I wish you the best in your continued self-exploration.
Hi Cemma, First of all, I'd like to say, don't feel in any rush to figure all this out. Coming to terms with your sexuality and telling other people about it can take time, it is different for everyone, but you are still young so I'd say see that as an advantage in that you have even more time than many to get to know how you really feel and what you want to do (many people don't start questioning until they get to university etc - but equally some know from childhood). In terms of talking to your friend, I imagine if you're that close she will be completely understanding and want you to be able to talk about it. Obviously I don't know her, so its hard to say and some people don't react as we expect them to, but it may be worth just casually talking about homosexuality in general just to test the waters a bit. I found some of my close friends had a bit of an idea anyway before I mentioned it just because they knew me so well! Also, it may help going to an LGBT group if there is one near you, I found it helped me both in figuring things out and with getting used to talking about it openly before doing that with people from my 'day-to-day'.
I'm a big fan of let whatever happens happen. Don't be in any sort of rush to define who you are. How does your friend deal with conversations about anything gay? Do you have any close friends that are gay? Is she ok with it?
Thanks guys, I think the biggest thing for me is everyone elses opinion.. I know it doesn't matter what other people think blah blah but I really freak myself out when I start thinking about it. Like everyone just assumes Im straight and Im into guys and yeah, but then I don't think I am. I'm just really struggling with that, and just that I would be different if that makes sense. Like my whole life it's been you grow up, marry a man, have kids and die. And I feel like even if I were straight Id hate that anyway, but Im just not doing the right thing by not being interested in guys... idek if that makes sense, but thank you for your advice!
