They know something is up

Background: I live with my parents, I'm not out, and had basically been a shut-in for the past two years. That changed when I joined an LGBT social group. I use a cover story when I go to the meetings (Those meeting were really the first place I came out. There was no way I was going to say, "Heading the LGBT Center tonight!" before my first meeting). I just leave out the LGBT part when going to an event (museum trips, days in the park, etc).

This change in behavior has raised my mother's concern and anxiety. It came to a head last week when I got grilled over my activities over the past few months by my mother with my father present. I got "We want to make sure you're on the right path." and "What kind of people are you going out with?" and "Are you looking for a girlfriend?! Just tell us.", "Do you want therapy?", "Are you trying to meet a boy?" and the classic "You know, you can tell us anything!" in a very sharp, angry tone that was not at all understanding or supportive. I know that phrase also means, "We know you're gay, tell us." I was also grilled on my cover story, which my mother had done a rather thorough investigation of.

This all feels quite threatening. It felt invasive and made me feel very vulnerable. It did make me want to come out, but only out of spite and anger. But I knew better than to come out under those circumstances. I felt like I was being made to come out just because my parent's demanded it. It felt disrespectful because I thought I was allowed to decide when I wanted to share that information with others. It also made me sad that I was making them so upset. It made feel guilty for going out and meeting other people in the LGBT community and guilty for not sharing something that has been a positive development in my life.

I'm also picking up mixed messages. In one respect I understand their concern and I feel like I should just be an adult and be honest with them. Yet in another respect the anger, demands for answers, and belief that I'm doing something suspicious make me think they're treating me like a child, which makes me resentful. Also, I think they might guess I'm gay, what with the questions about my meeting a boy. But, the statements about my being on "the right path" and the recent suggestion I go on a Catholic dating website make me really worried.

I want to handle this right.