Did anyone come out as gay and then later decide they were bisexual?

Sexuality is complex and it takes a long time to figure out. Don't feel stupid about it. I kind of did the same thing with my orientation. When I originally came out to some, several years ago, I came out as gay. Later on, like you may be doing, I realized that I was still interested in the opposite sex as well. When I initially came out I kind of ignored the Bi leanings like you because I thought maybe I was trying to deny being gay. As I gave it time though, I realized they were real.

There's nothing wrong with how you're feeling, or the thoughts you're having. I would say to just forget about "Gay" and "Bi" for a while and simply feel what you feel for who you feel. If you just go by your feelings for a while and ignore categories that you're trying to fit into, you'll figure things out

 

I'm curious to know how you differentiate real bisexual tendencies from denying you're gay?

 

I think that lots of people try to believe that they're one or the other just because black and white is easier. I get that with my gender--I really WANT to be either male or female, and sometimes I convince myself that I am, because that would give me a clear set of guidelines that I crave for stability's sake, and a clear group to fit into instead of walking a knife between the two.

 

Yup. When I was a teenager I was convinced I was a lesbian because I had only ever been attracted to girls. But I still kept questioning and wondering if I could be attracted to guys. I originally thought I was holding onto some denial of not being straight, but eventually came to the conclusion that whoever I ended up with in a relationship, it wouldn't be because of their gender, but because I loved them. And I decided that I didn't care which gender that turned out to be. I have been physical with both and found the results to be about equal, though I've been more emotionally attracted to girls than guys in the past (though recently it's increased a bit with guys).

I call myself 'bisexual' but in truth I don't think there's really a label that fits me perfectly. Relationships are about love - as long as you love them, who cares about the gender?

 

I did it quite recently.

I told a few of my very close friends that I was gay. Literally a month after, I met a girl that I was really attracted too. Realized that maybe I wasn't so gay.

I think I'm homoromantic bisexual. I still swing more to guys, but I don't want my sexuality to be black and white and so restrictive. I just decided to go with it. I mean, who does it actually matter in the long run? The only answer should be you.

I'm content with knowing that I'd likely end up with a guy, but if I met the right girl, that would work too.

 

When I was living as a girl people knew me as being very gay. Later, I found out that I could randomly be attracted by some males as well but it came to be as a total surprise so I explored that path and found out that I am really bisexual.

Of course what really happened is, I (thought I) was a straight guy and I turned out to be bisexual, Kinsey 2. Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual. Yeah, that fits

 

I literrally just did the same thing...I do admit I find myself in a weird place now, and I feel discriminated aginst by gay friends >.>...but whatever it's my life and I'll just fall for who I fall for.

 

*raises hand* Yep, for all the reasons above. I've never really felt attraction for men and prefer women in a lot of ways. I had a lot of the markers that gay woman have, like making up excuses for not having crushes and trying to force myself to like men. And then, of course, the whole internal and external biphobia thing reared its ugly head. So, it was very confusing at first. But, in the end, i found i do have attraction for men. I think I just became attracted to women at an earlier age. What can I say? I love diversity

 

Other way around for me actually. I didn't see myself as Bi for longer than a couple days though so it was to only 1 or 2 people.

 

I did. I was like "Hmm...he's hot...I must be gay" (2 years of internal turmoil, depression, drinking, self abuse later) I'm okay with being gay. Tells people I'm gay. Mostly okay reception. Me - freaked out by all the acceptance goes back in. "I'm not gay, not gay, not gay, not gay". Damn he's hot. But so is she. So I'm bisexual. I guess.

 

I came out in my 20s but a few years ago I did get sucked into a relationship with an older guy because I was really lonely and had low self esteem and it lasted a year and he ended up being the devil. During that time I was very confused because I started to think maybe I was bisexual. After the hurt ended from that I went right back to wanting women like before. I don't know what the hell that whole relationship was all about and I don't know why it happened, but I just want to forget that it ever did. I feel like I got brainwashed or something.

I have been in love with an older woman who is a friend for over a year who appears to be close to coming out and is having feelings for me. When she and I kiss each other on the cheek I feel electricity shooting through my entire body and even talking about it or writing about it now gives me goosebumps from head to toe. I've seen a pic of her naked from behind and I've seen her breasts and it kills me that she isn't ready for me to say I love you yet. Long story short, I could never ever think of finding men attractive ever again. I like being friends with them because they are low on drama, but this beautiful woman is all I want for the rest of my life.

 

Going through this myself after identifying and still do as lesbian. I never thought I would ever be attracted to a man again. And, in mid-life, here I find myself madly in love with a man. One thing I learned from my activism, don't let anyone tell you who you can love or just have fun trying to find out who you love. Only you can tell yourself that.