I think he might be gay. Or bi. Which is really weird/hilarious to me because I myself haven't come out. I honestly don't know how I feel about this so this post is probably going to ramble a lot and not make any sense at all. Me: Straight personality, scrub type dress style I have depression, and may be a binge alchoholic. Live by myself. Recently kicked my oldest friend out of my life No car Him: Acts super gay all the time, dresses incredibly well Always effing happy and only drinks when with me Lives with his super religious dad Has a million friends, very outgoing Drives me everywhere and won't let me pay for gas When I say he acts super gay, I mean like, holy crap. He runs with his arms flailing about, blushes about every compliment or gift, and is highly prone to grabbing nipples of any man. He has also been known to literally rub beards with strangers when he is drunk. But! I know for a fact he is trampy as hell when it comes to girls. He will sleep with anything, but always asks my advice on how to talk to girls and such. Its ridiculous. He always talks about how gay people are so cool, and how he wishes he had a gay friend he could talk to. He also tells me how he can't behave like himself or be who he wants to be in front of his family, as they are extremely antigay, and he is aware of the way he behaves and how that can be interpreted. This man is my absolute best friend in the entire world, and pretty much the only thing that has kept me from completely retreating into myself. When I come out, he will be the very first person I will come out to, and I know that he will accept me, which is awesome, but I am so frigging confused as to his own behavior and how he may either a) come out himself, or b)how our friendship could/would change. He is physically attractive, but I have never been into him like that. We have this crazy magical friendship somehow, since we have almost nothing in comon at all but can literally finish each others sentences. I honestly have no clue if he is gay, straight, or bi. Regardless of his relationship with women. He is such a completely different person around his family that I can't tell if sleeping with women is his gig, or something that is just expected of him. Not even sure if he is secretly aware that I am gay or not. I mean, I have made it pretty damn clear I'm not loking for a relationship at the moment, and I refuse to talk about dating at all. It is six am here so I'll just wrap up my confusing rant real quick: Is my friend trying to come out to me, trying to get me to come out to him, or is he just magnificently unaware and fabuloustraight? Sorry for any typos, I don't have a keyboard at the moment. Also, past my bedtime.
If you're not attracted to him in any way, does it matter whether he's gay or not? I'd say the most important factor here is that he seems perfectly accepting and a completely safe bet to come out to. The only issue that I could see would be he might expect you to act more "gay" than I suspect you will, but if he's really as good of a friend as you say, it shouldn't be a huge problem for him to get over that. Otherwise - the arm flailing, the blushing, even the nipple grabbing - these are all secondary issues. When it comes down to it, he's sleeping with women, and a lot of them. Not to be blunt - and obviously nobody can say second-hand and over the internet - but don't interpret your way out of the obvious. Survey says: straight and very accepting. Go with it - you have a friend who will accept you for who you are. Finally - this is a little off topic, but since you brought it up I wanted to ask - what makes you suspect you're a binge alcoholic?
Going by what you said, it sounds like he's probably gay. You'll have a much better idea after you come out to him and see what he does/says. I have a feeling he'd probably be very relieved and maybe even tell you that he is gay as well. After all, he did say he wants a gay friend to talk to, which would be very weird coming from a "straight" guy. Since his family is super religious, that can make it very difficult to come out or have a desire to since he probably feels they wouldn't take it very well. But yeah, tell him you're gay. I'm pretty confident you'll have a good outcome no matter what. It will not only help you, but you might also be helping him in the process.
Lol, no, it totally wouldn't matter to me if he WAS, its just that it is a very comical situation. I'm not worried about him accepting me per say, but more that I don't want my friendship to change in any way. As for your question, every Friday night I drink at least a gallon of random booze. If I don't get my Friday fix of at minimum a beer, I get real anxious for days. Due to my crazy metabolism it takes more alchohol to get me drunk and stay drunk (edit: whereas he is an extreme lightweight). Otherwise I sober up from even tequila in about 2 hours. The reason I even threw that out there is because I needed more points to distinguish personality traits between us. Grr. I need to get a keyboard. Writing this took like 10 minutes, and it feels all stiff and scripted.
I would say just be happy with having such a great friend. If you come out, and then he comes out then you can be out together. It doesn't have to change your friendship.
