I need to come out to my Girlfriend and mother of my young child

i think you need to really think this over before you do anything. like realising what's the most important for you, family or sexuality, as you say you won't be pleased to be in a relationship with a woman and abstain from sex with men, but still want to live with your son, whose mother's a monogamist.
coming out to your girlfriend is something you'll probably want to do whatever else you end up deciding to do, so you could always do that and see how it goes.
best of luck!

 

I'm a mother of 3 boys and I'm with the father of my kids. However, we've been together off and on since I was 19 and I'm 26 now. When he and I first got together he knew that I liked girls, but as time passed, I became less interested in having sex with him. When I turned 20, I was almost sure that I was indeed gay, but I denied my feelings. We tried the family thing, but it didn't work so went our separate ways numerous times.

It wasn't until last year when I finally started to embrace my feelings for women. I've dated a few girls, but things didn't workout. And so, he had I decided to get back together. Things are okay, but I still like women; I actually prefer women, but I haven't had the best luck. He's okay with me seeing someone else, and I have to admit that he's the only guy that I would ever consider being with. If we were not together, I would exclusively date women. And with everything that's being going on, our kids are fine. They have met a girl that I was seeing before and they didn't think nothing of it. I'm still the same person for the most part. That's my story now, my advice to you would be to come out to your girlfriend. I can't tell you the next step because I'm not sure how she's going to respond to you.

If things don't go well you can still raise your son as a single father and then you'll be able to pursue a man later on down the line. (I was a single mother raising my kids and I still found time to date women. I usually prefer women who have kids as well). Then again, you could stay together and work something out. My kids father has learned to step outside the box and love me, all of me. He used to be homophobic and I'm like, ”How can you be homophobic when I like girls too?!”

I think I've rambled long enough, I think before you come out to her you should hint around. Good luck

 

Hi there and welcome to EC. I'm a parent, having been married to my wife for 9 years before I came to realize I was gay and come out. We had two little girls together.

I didn't want to admit that I was attracted to men - because I wasn't sure either how it would affect my relationship. With me, I didn't remain faithful, which made it even more difficult to have the conversation. I'd recommend that you don't stray while you're still together. You'll feel better in the end for doing the right thing.

In my experience, what you're feeling isn't going to go away or get easier to deal with. It's likely to get more difficult to deal with.

Are you seeing a counsellor or therapist? I'd recommend finding someone to talk to about all this. Saying it out loud to someone else makes it real, and gives you some practice before you talk about it with your girlfriend. You'd also be able to work through how you're really feeling, and what you'd ultimately like to see happen to your relationship with your girlfriend and your son.

My wife and I separated but remain good friends. I still am involved in my kids' lives, even if I don't see them as often. They spend every other weekend with me as well as every other Thursday. I live just 10 minutes away, so I am able to attend school concerts, parent teacher nights, etc. This is what was best for us, because I identify as gay - not bi. I am now married to a wonderful man, and the thought of being with a woman never enters my head. So your situation, and what you ultimately want from it, will be different from mine.

Good luck. Don't hesitate to write back - here or in a personal message to me.

 

I think you need to spend some time thinking about your life and what you want out of it. I would guess, your 1st answer is to be a great Dad. That's what you can be!
Now - you don't want to lose the GF - but I will note a couple of things from your post:
1. While you talk about buying a house/ having a child - there is little discuss of your love for this woman. Maybe you left it went without saying - just seemed like a strange omission.
2. You have been a relationship with her for a while and yet you have keep to VERY large secrets. Your sexuality and the monogamy things. Seems like BIG gaps in honestly department.
3. Will you lose her? I don't know but no matter how hard it is to bring these topics up - its going to be easier than her finding you cheating ( with a man or a woman)- rage is no place to begin a conversation if you know what I mean.
Plus - Having found the apps - I have to believe that she knows something is not right at home.