I've fell painfully in love with a straight man.

We can't help who we fall in love with. But there really isn't anything you can do to "act" upon the feelings since he is straight and cannot reciprocate the love back to you in the way that you love him. It's like a straight female friend wanting you to love her, it just can't happen.

The only thing you can do is to try and enjoy him as the great friend that he is and the friendship that you have and realize that he can't love you as anything other than a friend. If you keep dwelling on it, it's going to eat you up and it's not worth putting yourself through that since the feelings can never be returned.

 

Just know that you are not alone. I have been in a similar situation with someone who could never reciprocate sexual feelings that I had (have?) for them.. The way I see it though, the joy of having this person as a close friend is worth the angst that I have about nothing sexual ever happening. If I were to end the friendship because of my attraction, it'd be bad for us both, because we get along so awesome. I had feelings for someone else similar years ago, and eventually they wore off and we are still great friends, and I now feel nothing sexual attracting me to her anymore.

 

Yea 99.9% of us will be in that situation sometimes. I'm in one right now. But knowing you can still keep your friendship, atleast provides some comfort (&&&)

 

To be quite honest, I am in a similar situation. I don't really like these "MOVE ON. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT" comments. If I were you I would ask him, " is it possible for you to make out with me?" or "Is it ok if we did something sexual?". Don't be afraid, if you trust him enough obviously he won't physically harm you. There is NO HARM in asking. I feel like the reason why you are aching for him BADLY is because you want to be intimate with him... and if you ever do get to that point, your temptations will ease down a bit. SO NO, DON'T MOVE ON... ASK HIM TO DO STUFF WITH YOU!!!!!

 

You can try. I did awhile back with my friend; the straight one who I mentioned earlier. We did, and it was just an experiment for her (which was fine.) It was not for her, and the big lesson that it taught me was not to take it personally if someone is not sexually attractive to you.

Only you know if you are ready/able to ask/try something with someone. I guess that it could be better to try, and either get a yes/no, than never to have tried, and have it be a case of the person actually having been interested in you after all.

 

+1 for you sir :eusa_clap This is probably the best advice I've seen all week

 

Haha I can just imagine him going in for a kiss and just when he is about to back off, you take your chance and go for it smack on! I hope it turns out well

 

Hahaha :icon_bigg I think he won't know what hit him and then he'll like it.
But it's up to you to decide how to handle that one.

I think I should try this to

 

(*hug*)(*hug*)
Hi there,

I'm in a similar situation.
There isn't really a way to act on these feelings unless he is interested and/or you may run the risk of messing up your friendship.

I'm really sorry about this, there isn't really a way to make yourself fall out of love.
I wish there was a love-button sometimes

(&&&)

 

You're all going to hate me for this, but hear me out.

There is a very good chance that in cases like these I'll say that you really should move on. It's not that there's nothing you can do about it, but nothing you should do about it if you value your friendship over this potential relationship. And for most people, they'd prefer to keep a good friend over taking that risk. It's often the "safest" approach in that sense.

If you want to do something, by all means go for it. More often than not the outcome of that scenario will not go well and may end in you losing a friend over it (if not painfully awkward at the very least). Sure, there's a chance that he'll fall for you and you'll live happily ever after, but odds are it won't.

The way I give advice (I won't speak for everyone else) is largely based on weighing the pros and cons of the situation. Often that means that the con of potentially losing the friend is not worth the pro of potentially having a relationship. That's just to help you understand where I'm coming from when I give advice. Additionally, I tend to take the side that nobody likes to hear but probably should hear.

I like giving advice on these forums because I like to share my experiences on what I've already been through in order to save other people the troubles that I've dealt with. If I can make someone's life a little easier, then by all means I'll try.

All that said, if you come here and ask for advice only to disregard it because you don't "like" it, then don't ask for advice. That would be pretty indicative that you come here and you're only looking for someone to reassure you that something you're unsure of doing is a good decision, and that's not a role I'm going to play. If you legitimately want advice, it means you actually want input, so take what's given to you.

Sincerely,

Someone who just got over his long-time straight crush and preserved a great friendship

 

Lol. That will either get your ass kicked or your feelings hurt. It's not about sex. I've had sex with straight guys, the moment is good, but the aftermath fucking sucks. Why would you want to be with someone physically and not emotionally? Contrary to popular belief, the emotional and spiritual relationship is much harder of a concept for straight men to accept with other guys than the sexual parts.. You think you're lonely now? Have sex with someone and then have him act as if you don't exist in public. lol.. you need to start seeking healthy relationships. Your friendship isn't worth losing over these feelings. I have a friend very similarly that I loved but it was purely unrequited love, which is the most destructive kind there is. Try to look for guys that will interest you and you have to stop feeling like there's a future. That's like your friend pushing a girl on you repetitively. You're insulting his sexuality by asking him to hook up with you..so..don't do that. Just put things into perspective. If hooking up is more important than being his friend then you're missing out on being his friend. You can love him, you just have to adjust what that means.

 

I'm currently where you are here. I just realized last night that I have strong feelings for one of my best friends. More like come to terms with those feelings. So I hope your situation worked out for the best. If anyone has anymore advice to give, feel free. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/images/smilies2/help.gif

 

Please check dates before posting; thanks! You can post your own thread if you like as it'll be more current and tailored to your needs.