I have been out as a lesbian for most of my adult life. It is how I have always seen myself. Now, however, I am involved with who I thought was a good gay guy friend. What is happening and has this happened to anyone else out there? I posted this in the chitchat section, but probably more appropriate here. :help:
Wait. Are you male or female? Because your point of view suggests that you're female, but your profile says you're male...
Hi there! Welcome to EC! Had the same question, but saw your response.... I think it would help if you could provide us with a bit more information, or how about your involvement with the 'good gay guy friend' came about. Do you have feelings for him, and/or does he have feeling for you?
Yes, I have feelings for him and he for me. We have been friends for quite awhile. It kind of came out of the blue. We started meeting for dinner and our hugs lasted longer and longer. I noticed how I was feeling and I also noticed how he was looking at me. We starting talking about the obvisious elephant in the room, but I am perplexed. It isn't just a buddy situation.
Hi there! I think one question you could ask and probe further is: 'what kinds of feelings/attractions do I have for him? Are the emotional or physical or both?' Good friendships can turn into more than just friendships, and can create deeper feelings, especially if we are missing something in our own life, and a friend is able and willing to provide us with what we are missing. Sometimes, friendships take on a new life of their own and deeper feelings develop. It's good that you are talking and are open with each other about it. If you two have the similar (if not the same) feelings for each other. I'd encourage you, and as pinklov3ly, suggested, to explore these feelings. Once you have done that and have gained a better understanding, take it from there then.
Thank you all for your messages of support and understanding. There is a lot more I do not feel comfortable in sharing. I can say this is both romantic and sexual. I understand that women are more fluid sexually than men, at least that is what the science states. I am much more curious about why a gay man would take interest. I do not want to lose a friendship nor do I want what has developed to end either. I hope that we can navigate this well and continue to have the loving relationship we have had over the years. Do we create a binary oppossite system to only be surprised when real life enters in to the picture? Are we creating a mythology of what coming out and what it means to be gay or straight and have some phobia of everything in between?
