I broke up with my girlfriend. Realised it was actually just a phase. I like men too much. There's a man I've been crushing on like forever and when I ran into him on Saturday my heart just stopped because I knew I was already involved with a woman. I changed my interested in on FaceBook again to "men" and I'm certain that, that is the way it'll stay. I just cannot go through with this anymore. It's not just because of the hardships I've encountered but I just feel like I will never really fit into the gay society, no matter how hard I try. I want to get my religious life back on track and get my life back on track too. I'm a mess. I'm sorry EC and I thank everybody for bearing with me through all of this and for supporting me and understanding. I may be back every now and then though.
You never need to apologize for being on the road to self-discovery, that's why we're all here. Things change, sometimes when we least expect it. What matters is YOUR happiness, and I hope you find everything your heart desires.
Well, definitely the best of luck with the renewed focus on guys. However, if you'll allow me one thought/caveat, then it's the following: in your post, some of the reasons you state are these: Those are, indeed, valid reasons to want some kind of change in how you deal with things. But also do remember that they're not good reasons to be straight. Being gay (or let's put that broader as: being non-straight), at its core, is about who you like, and who you want to be with. Not about hanging out with other gay people (I don't hang out with the "gay community" at all, personally), or about doing what is the most socially accepted thing (as evidenced by the many people who manage to reconcile religion and homosexuality just fine). Doing what you think others are expecting is a way to lead an unremarkable life, perhaps. It's not a gateway to being really happy. So whatever you do, promise me this: that you will be honest about what YOU want, and try to fit the rest about that, instead of merely trying to be the perfect extra in other people's lives.
Realized that I'm actually just a very tomboyish female and had it confused with being butch/gay... I don't mind kissing women though... Anyway, I'm a royal mess at the moment and my head is spinning. But I'll get over it and everything will go back to normal. Folks will be happy and so will I... I hope. Reach for infinity and you will reach the stars I guess. LOL ---------- Post added 20th Nov 2012 at 01:56 AM ---------- Thank you for this. I will definitely be honest with myself and do what makes ME happy, not live MY LIFE in a way to please others. I will do what I want - within limits, of course - and be who I am and not try to fit into this mould created by others. If they cannot accept me for who I am then I don't need them in my life. It's full speed forward from here on. So here's hoping for the best
Thank you. I'm not 100% straight (don't think any "straight" person is, to be honest) because I wouldn't say no to kissing a woman. I'm just not sure if I really fit the bill of being a true lesbian, or even bisexual for that matter. I (hope I...) have it all figured out now :lol:
It took me years to figure out who I am and I feel most comfortable with the label lesbian. Although, my orientation says homoflexible--I do not like this word at all. I'm dating a guy, but I'm not in love with him. I love him and I care about him, but I want that being in love feeling. I feel like I'm wasting his time, so, I'm still trying to figure everything out. I'm talking to a girl as well and she makes me feel complete. Perhaps you should give it some more time. I was about ready to give up labels because I was avoiding having to deal with everything that comes along with being gay. So, my concerns are the same as yours, but I love me some women. Btw you're always welcomed here! Take care
