I've recently identified as bisexual, but I have a boyfriend... :/ I've been in love with him for a while and we're finally together. I know that he would accept me if I did come out to him, but I feel like it's pointless. I'm not planning on leaving the relationship, acting on any of my feelings tords anyone else, or coming out to any other friends... Does he need to know?
I think he does. A relationship is about honesty, and telling him who you are is important. If he accepts you then great, if he doesn't then it just wasn't meant to be and he wasn't a good friend nor boyfriend in the first place. I wish you luck!
I'd tell him, cause if you don't and break up with him and end up with a girlfriend it would be more awkward. Also why not tell? Just make sure he knows how you feel about him
Well, we've only been official for 5 months, but he was my best friend (Tell each other everything) for a whole year before that. I'm comfortable telling him just about anything... I'm just worried that it will cause unnessisary confusion. I'm not planning on coming out to anyone for at least another year (it's complicated). I haven't even told my parent yet (I've only just recently been figuring this all out) I know it won't change the relationship at all, I'm just wondering if that is wrong of me to keep it to myself?
Perhaps then, a straight-up admission of bisexuality isn't the way to go. Instead, maybe you can point out that you find a particular female singer or actor attractive. This could get the idea across in a way that wouldn't be threatening (you're hardly likely to ditch him for a famous singer, right?). Lex
I would definitely tell him, but in a way That seems like you USED to think you were bi? You somehow have to tell him because you want to be able to talk to your lover about absolutely anything. And I also believe that everything comes to the light, meaning he is going to find out somehow eventually. So it's better to go ahead and tell him.
I have joked around about it to see how he would react (i.e. making a joke about my best friend (girl) and me being dating/engaged) and he doesnt react negitivly ("oh..can i watch?" or "so now i have to compete with girls too?"). Even though we're joking I dont think he would be surprised if I told him I was Bi. Another thing im afraid of is that it would be asking too much of him to keep my secret. We both still live with our parents, and I would be asking him not to tell anyone, including both our parents and all our friends (small town, news spreads fast). Should I wait to actually tell him when im ready to come out to everyone? Or at least until we've been together for a little longer? and thank you all for the help so far
I don't think so. If he really loves you, then he'll understand. Otherwise you could simply ask him to keep the secret. I don't see any reasons to tell that secret to anyone.
Unless it's killing you, I don't see a need to say anything. The relationship is good. It will add confusion. You would have to do a good job of explaining that you're happy with the relationship. If you tell him now, he's going to wonder why "all of a sudden?" And what's this year timeline you're putting on it?
I understand, Im just worried that he'd feel the need to tell his mom or something Thats kind of what i've been thinking.. and I'm not sure exactly how long i'm going to stay in the closet, but I'm definatly not coming out in highschool, I feel like it's just going to cause alot of problems for me :/
I agree with Joey. I don't really see it being necessary to tell him. You're in a relationship with this guy, so why does he have to know that you like girls as well? You're not going to act on those feelings/desires towards women while in the relationship, so I don't see much point.
I'd tell him because honestly why not? Like you said you were best friends before you started dating and told each other everything. I don't think he will mind keeping it a secret I mean hasn't he kept other secrets for you before if you told each other everything. When I was dating my last boyfriend he was the first person I came out to. It was nice and we would talk about how hot certain actresses and singers were lol. Now that we are broken up it is nice to know that if I date a girl it won't be a shock.
