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Help please!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by dinopotato, Nov 21, 2012.

  1. dinopotato

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Hi, my name is Jessica and NO ONE knows that I'm like girls...
    Be prepared for a looong post :slight_smile:
    So to start off, you should know that i moved around a lot and my longest friendship was 3 years, but now it seems that my family has decided to stay here permanently or at least for a looong time. So i've lived here for about a year and a half so far, and made lots of good friends (im still in school) including my best friend, Jessica (we have the same name lol). Out of all of my past best friendships i could tell that jessica and i were becoming closer faster than any other friendships I've ever had. And she agreed with me, she said I became closer to her than anyone else, including her ex best friend who she had been friends with for 7 years (and don't worry, i didn't steal her away, her ex bestie just dumped her, and i was there to catch her fall and then we became best friends (*hug*) )
    so what i'm trying to say is that I'm in love with my best friend and she doesn't know it. And she is straight but hasn't had a boyfriend yet. She also thinks I'm straight because I've dated a lot of guys before, but now I realize that i never really cared for any of them, and I broke up with every single one of them for that reason, my longest relationship being 2 months... :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
    So my friendship with Jessica is very playful and close. Sometimes I would bite her neck and she would tackle me down and pin me to the ground or sometimes, the bed... And we're always together and we hold hands sometimes while walking and lots of other things. And our other friends would sometimes tease us of being a lesbian couple, which jessica and i just laugh at, even though i wish it was true.
    So since she's such a good friend, i think she deserves to know that I like girls and only girls. But I'm very afraid she'll stop being playful and stop having sleepovers with me. Her friendship means more to me than anything else so I really don't want this to stop our sleepovers and being close. I've asked her what she thinks of homosexuals, and she just said it's their choice. I've asked what her parents think, and her dad is fine with them, while her mother is a little less okay with them. And since her friendship is so important, I'm working on getting over my crush on her, but right now, i have no progress. So what I really need advice on is how to tell her that I'm lesbian without freaking her out or making her distance herself from me because I really want to stay her best friend and i need advice on how to get over her even though I love her and she is so perfect. :help:
    So if anyone could help me, I would really appreciate it :icon_bigg so good bye for now!
    (I would like to telll her as soon as I know how to, by the way)
    Thanks for reading!
     
  2. lexi

    lexi Guest

    I have never been in your situation, but i understand how that would feel. I would probably reccomend sitting down with her to talk about how you feel, but assure her that you dont want things to change at all. I'm really not sure what the best way to handle that though :/ best of luck.. maybe she's in the closet too :slight_smile:
     
  3. dinopotato

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Yup I'll try that i suppose! Thank you :slight_smile:
     
  4. Jim1454

    Full Member

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    Honesty, in the end, is always the best policy.

    However, the common advice is usually to let the friend know that you're a lesbian without telling her that you're into her - at least at first. Let the first bit of news sink in and see what her reaction is. Maybe she'll even admit that she's kind of into girls too. And at that point it wouldn't hurt to tell her how you feel. But if she doesn't come out to you too at the same time, then you do need to assume she's straight - and that it might make her uncomfortable if you were to admit that you're in love with her.

    Save that for another time if you're not able to get over your crush.

    Good luck - and welcome to EC!