Ok so i wanted to know the best way to come out to a whole anti gay family(my family)? Because I have had a crush on my closest friend and me and him both don't want any trouble. The thing is we want to start dating but they will find out anyway in the long run which would save the trouble till later but make it so much harder. We want to know the easiest way to come out to my family early?
I came out via a letter. I was lucky enough to have a very gay-friendly family, but I found writing a letter to be easier than telling them verbally (I always choked when I tried). You do all the work ahead of time, and then all you have to do is deliver the letter. I'm not sure how it would work in a larger group (I gave it to my two parents), but it's a possibility.
Hi there! From the information you have provided, it looks like that you are out only to a couple of people. Given what you have mentioned about your family, I'd suggest to really concentrate on building your support network. Continue coming out to people that you know, and are supportive. That support network could provide you with invaluable support. A part of the support network could be a LGBT support group. If you want to date your crush, you can still do that without your family knowing at the moment. I wouldn't worry too much about the long-run at this point. The thing you have to consider here is if you come out to your anti-gay family, what could some of the consequences be?
Yes i have only come out to my crush and also to another close friend both of them were supportive. As for consequences of coming out to my family i have heard of families just simply abandoning their children just for something like this and that is what I fear most because I currently live with my family. Another consequence would most likely be not abandonment but rather shamed and alot of bashing about how i am. Yes i know i can date my crush in secret for now but he said if we do date we have to be able to have it out in the open and not so secretive. Others i know might support me coming out would be my auntie and uncle as they aren't like my other siblings but if i did come out to them they might let it slip by accident. I might just try that letter way but only when I move out so if they do choose to cut all ties with me i don't have to worry about being kicked out cause i will have my own place.
I agree with Mirko on building a support system. You definitely don't want to come out and have not enough people around to support you/give you the right advice. As for the boyfriend, he should really be a little more understanding I think. I mean, it's not like you can just easily come out to everyone without a problem. Maybe his family aren't as opposed to gay people as yours are. Maybe you should explain that to him, he should at least wait a few more months/a year.
Well hes not my boyfriend yet we just have been wanting to date but before we do he wants to be able to be open about it. I did explain to him how my family is against gays and he still stands by wanting to be open right from the start. He did say he would wait for when i am able to come out to my family before we start to date even if it takes a few months.
I think your family will grow to accept it eventually. Well they wont really have a choice. What I would do is date him openly but don't make a big announcement to your family. That way eventually they will ask, and by the time they begin to ask they will probably have already wrapped their mind around the possibly that you are gay. This SHOULD make it easier.
That sounds like a good idea i just hope my family can come around to accepting me when they do ask/find out or when i decide to come out to them whatever comes first
If your family really loves you, they will respect you and your decisions, you can have a long conversation with them, tell things like ''The decision wasn't mine'' etc... Good luck, i haven't came out yet to no one... But i hope to do it later. I wish you a good luck, and you can count on us
Yeah I hope it goes/went okay. I was just concerned about the possibility of being kicked out that you mentioned. Are you waiting til you move out or have you already done it?
