It may not have anything to do with any LGBT issues, but I find that you guys would be the best to trust with this information. For about 6 weeks I have been depressing and over-sensitive when it comes to the smallest things, I have had an highly irrational fear of dying (for someone my age, who is completely healthy bodied), and I have also been having trouble sleeping, as I have been hallucinating badly; seeing and hearing things as I lay in bed, or even when outside. I have a counselor of whom I tell all of this to, and she once tried to tell all of this to my mother. My mother didn't believe a word of it. She comes home after the interview and tells me two things: "You see the therapist because: - you think she's hot." - you are nothing but an attention seeking liar." My grades have been falling badly, no matter how much I try to study, and I always worried about something that just wont let me focus. But recently, just after the last time I saw my counselor, I have started to stop seeing and hearing things. I find myself much happier. I lay in bed for whole nights without a worry. But there is still an issue. I have a thousand thoughts going through my head, and I feel really full of energy. Just the other day, I lay there with my eyes shut, and after a while I gave up on sleep and opened my eyes check the time and find I had been laying there thinking for 3 hours. Today at school I bounded around the oval, hopping and skipping, but I felt no loss of energy. I had to request to all of my teachers that I could work standing against the wall because I couldn't help but fidgeting whenever I sat. Whenever I wrote a sentence, the majority of the time I would be thinking of something completely different, and so where as I wanted to write "I apologize, that must have hurt" (Prose Narrative) I ended up writing "I apologize, that was off task". I would like peoples opinions as to what I should do. I am afraid to tell mum because she will probably think I am lying, and I don't know who else I can talk to about it. I have no idea what is going on with me, but I cant understand the massive mood-swing. Any help would be appreciated, so thank you in advance; Ruairidh "Rebecca" McGhee.
I have been in a very very similair situation! It's so difficult to be in that sort of thing without support. Where do you live? I know here in NZ once you are 16 you can seek medical care without parental consent- that's what I had to do. If you aren't far from being 16 then I suggest you ride it out with the support of your therapist until then, after that you can go to the doctors who will refer you on or prescribe you medication to help. Remeber its a chemical fault! Not a personality fault! idk thats probably not helpfull but good luck! Do your best to cope and build yourself a good support network.. All the best. xx
Your condition reminds me of the manic disorders, where you can be one emotional extreme for a while, then bounce to the other end for a while. My mom has one, hers is semi-classified as manic depression borderline schizophrenia. She can be happy as heck for weeks at a time, then pretty much overnight start calling me at 1 am to ask if she "was a good mom" and feeling like everything sucks because of her. She also has trouble sleeping during the swings. I have something similar, but I haven't bothered to be examined to see what the doctor names it yet. There are times when I'm just PUMPED all the time, I'll run a few miles a day, be super active, and generally feel I should be all I can be. Then there are times I just feel like a worthless POS that doesn't do anything good for anyone, and I tune out from everything and stress over the smallest things until I get only an hour or two of sleep. It isn't anything wrong with you. Its just a chemical or hormonal thing. That being said, my doctorate is in speculation and I probably have no idea what I'm talking about. It could be any number of things. Let me know. <3
As I was reading your post, I saw so much of myself in it. Racing thoughts, visual and auditory hallucinations, hyperactivity and then a complete and utter lack of motivation and energy... I've been diagnosed as bipolar (better known as manic-depressive). My psychiatrist also said that some of my symptoms borders on schizophrenia but they aren't severe enough for me to be diagnosed as schizophrenic. Forgot to mention, there may also be a tiny bit of OCD involved, but not officially diagnosed. I also tend to obsess over the simplest of things and it would drive me insane Exactly this. But we aren't qualified to make a diagnosis, so like you said, it's pure speculation :lol:
It largely depends on how you want to handle it. Your mother is clearly being insensitive and unhelpful, and arguably is putting you at risk, because it sounds like you are depressed. So if she is flat out refusing professional advice that you need help, at that point, it constitutes child neglect, and you could talk either to your counselor or to the counselor or social worker at your school. I think if one or both of them said to your mom, in effect, either you get her the help she needs, or we're going to involve child protective services... that might snap your mom out of her denial. But it's a pretty powerful move that will likely not win you points with your mom. However, your health and well being is what's really at stake here so I think it's something you have to weigh within yourself and decide what's appropriate.
