Do you judge a person on their appearance? I really want, no NEED to know. People go on about how I care to much about appearance so I need to know of you judge someone on looks and clothes hair etc. would you look at someone and go "oh they are ugly I won't go out with them" without even meeting them? Does personality count for more then looks? I spend hours a day getting ready making sure I look perfect it gets annoying! I get the response I go for though people look at me stare at me tell me I smell and look good. But they are just judging me based on my looks not on ME which is why every guy that has taken me out only wants to have sex with me. So should I stop trying to look good? Should I like... Idk wear baggy pants and not do my hair and then people will look at me for me not my looks? I just have such a problem going out in public without looking perfect I just want people to think I look good. My mother has changed me I had a nose job for her I loose weight for her I act the way she wants..... I'm just so confused now... I don't want to be this stuck up brat I want to be nice and friendly and NORMAL! I just need advice please how do I start what do I do first? How do I change and feel comfortable doing it! PLEASE advice
Your stressing too much on it and that leads to very very bad problems ( I know this through experimenting two different eating disorders and frequent suicidal thoughts at one point) I like looking good and feel comfortable dressing nice and maintaining hygiene but I dont perfect every little thing or try to be perfect anymore- it doesnt work. I say looking good is important but feeling good is more important. Dress the way you want and try to spend less getting ready (an hour at most?). Try going out a few times without putting effort in how you look at all (within reason)- where sweats if you want to Maybe you should tell your mom to back off a bit too haha. (Also if your avatar is a pic of you, you look really great and dont need to worry!)
Do some people judge on appearance? Sure. Do some people not judge on appearance? Yeah. I will say that most of the keepers will be judging you on your personality though. And I think freaking out about your appearance this much is not that attractive, at least to me. Find a balance. Wear what you like, wear what makes you feel good. Just don't flaunt it. That's where you're rubbing people the wrong way.
Yeah, going to agree with this guy ^^^^^^^ Also you sound super superficial and insecure. Appearances doesn't matter, period. Please realize this.
I agree with the two posts above. There are different kinds of people, some date based on appearance, others based on personality. I prefer the latter. I don't worry about my appearance because I want to attract those who would ignore it. It makes it real easy for me, and for them too. I'm not one to judge on appearance either. Actually, I like it better when a person dresses up LESS. I tend to look at their natural beauty, and everyone has natural beauty.
There's a line between obsessing for hours and just paying some attention so you look decent. I have a number of friends who are around your age. One of them used to spend 2+ hours in the bathroom every time he went out anywhere. He was the most shallow person ever, obsessed with his appearance, only wanted to go out with very attractive people, and then wondered why none of his relationships worked because, unsurprisingly, everyone he attracted (or was attracted to) was incredibly shallow. I have several other friends who are just as attractive (maybe more so) who spend at most 10 or 15 minutes getting ready. They don't obsess, they just pay a little attention so they look nice, they don't own any designer stuff, but they always dress smartly and sharply. And they get noticed as well... but for whatever reason, the people they tend to attract are less shallow and more down-to-earth people. I don't think it's just appearance, but a combination of appearance and the vibe you put off when you do obsess on appearance. If you spend a ton of time obsessing on how you look, you're going to walk and act in such a way as to say, "Pay attention to me!" If, on the other hand, you just dress decently and spend a few minutes focusing on a natural look... you'll still get noticed, but won't be sending the message you're screaming for attention. Though... in your case, Alexander, it might be interesting for you to wear some non-designer baggy clothes, or something very ordinary from a thrift store for a week or two, just so you could see how differently people interact with you. My guess is you'll like the way people interact with you much better if you are dressing in more ordinary clothes and not obsessing over your appearance, but you'd have to try it yourself to see for sure. There are definitely people who will choose someone solely based on appearance. Those are the people that I, personally, would run the other way from as fast as I could, because those are the people that are shallow and probably not able to connect on an emotional level. Now, that said... it's definitely true that appearance plays some role in everyone's choice of a date or a partner. But if you're basically a cute guy, you can dress in ordinary clothes, run a brush through your hair for 5 seconds, and you'll be fine, and all the other stuff is not only unnecessary, but will probably work to your detriment in finding someone you really connect with.
I judge people based on appearance. I admit it. I would only ask someone on a date if they wore socks and sandals, comfy sweatpants and t-shirts from the thrift store.
Today I was really nice to people I talked to everyone I saw said thank you and things I'm trying to be down to earth now it felt good to talk to people nicely
I'd say appearance does count, since the physical attraction is important - at least for me.. Though, I actually have had the same problem with guys only wanting to have sex, and actually ain't interested in my personality at all.. Though, what I've learned is to NOT judge the book by its cover - in other words stop being "snobby".. However to get a boyfriend you need both the physical attraction and you have to enjoy his company but just stop using your eyes only me and my boyfriend actually had some problems, he thought I had some annoying habits, but I changed them and now it's fine I guess what I'm trying to say is, that before you can actually fall in love you have to acknowledge that there's more than just appearance - I.e. his smell, his voice and of course his personality.. Though I must say for me, I've realized I actually get turned on by my boyfriends smell.. When he's spend the night here, I can still smell him when I go to bed the next day Don't jugde by the cover, but if you don't get the "kick" at first, then he won't likely be a future boyfriend, but the person can be a future best friend
Appearance will always count, because we're animals with instincts--in the same way that a peahen will pick the cock with the most tail spots. I know I tend to judge people way too much on weight, which is something I'm very critical of myself about. However: to me, the appearance that someone is a confident, interesting, decent person is much more attractive to me than one that happens to be dressed well, and if I had a partner who needed more than half an hour to go out and have breakfast it would get very tiresome very fast.
