Well first off lets explain some stuff first.. you could call me a girl or a guy i have no clue but i was born a girl.. but i like men but i dont like being a girl but i like some things.. like the way i look with eyeliner.. or.. the way friends hang out like how we can talk about crushes and other things.. and i want to be a guy cause they are more easygoing..(so am i)... less drama and i fit in more with the guys anyways and then i wont have to worry about 1. my hair 2. being called names..(lesbian.. whore..manvoice.. i have a really deep voice for a girl..) and most of the pressers of being a girl like not looking good enough and other things. But i feel like i don't fit in with either, i would just become a guy but i have no clue how my dad would feel cause he always called me "his little girl" so i don't want to hurt him but i dont want to be confused anymore.. i need someone elses help on this.. only reason Im not asking a best friend or something like that is because i don't feel they would understand..(i tried with my most trusted friend but it landed up in the end scaring her half to death cause she thought i was going to kill myself) and it seems most people on here have more experience with this stuff then anyone i know.. halp..
I don't have a clue how to help, but a lot of that sounds like how I feel. I don't feel like a girl...but I like looking pretty, making people notice me. I love mascara and skinny jeans...but wear baggy tops to hide my chest. I feel like I can't express myself because there isn't any way to wear what makes me feel good and be interpreted as anything less than female. I'd rather be an effeminate male-bodied person, it would be easier to show.
Interesting. I have a FtM friend, and he tells me he KNOWS he is a man inside. He likes to wear boxers, shirts (instead of blouses), mans shoes, and jeans (like 90% of the population). But at the same time, he likes to use some kind of dresses (like lolita dresses, and victorian clothing), and when he uses them he says "Oh god, I'm gay", jokingly of course. That's his way to saying he likes to wear some feminine clothing, while he is convinced to be a man inside. The other day he used a lolita dress, and when watched himself on the mirror, said that he liked a lot the dress, but that it made him feel too feminine, and disliked that. What I try to say is, I don't think that the fact any of you like to wear something feminine is in any way diminishing tha fact that you consider yourselves to be truly a man (at least on the inside). I'd say, don't worry about that, and just concentrate on what you feel towards yourself.
