I just came out in October. Before then I wasnt the most masculine guy but I wasnt feminine either. I never thought about the way I acted. I just acted however I wanted to. Now that I am out I realize that sometimes I just want to go dress up like a girl or something. For a little while I was worried that meant that I am transgender but now I realize that it is normal. Even before I came out I would sometimes walk around the house like a girl or something but I never put second thought to it. I never acted like a girl in public or anything. I like being a guy and acing like a guy but sometimes I just want to be girly. It bothers me because I think about a lot now. Why cant I just go back to acting the way I did before I came out and just act without thinking anything about it. Has anyone else experienced this?
I think people consider myself a very masculine man. That is just who I am but I do have my moments when I don't act so masculine and I don't care. Concentrate on accepting yourself. Don't worry about what others think so much and work on finding yourself and being comfortable with yourself.
I swear I used to frolic around the house when I was younger. Though even when I'm not playing, I feel like my naturally walk is getting gay-er ^-^. I understand what you mean though. My femininity definitely wasnt an easy thing to accept. Harder than even my sexuality. It is different when you come out because things become "real". That sudden skip to the kitchen in your house suddenly has meaning. Is it connected to my orientation? Am I falling into the stereotype or is this natural? What will people think? Things may not go directly back to the way they were before you truly began to accept yourself. They didnt for me. It wasnt that I suddenly changed, but I slowly became more and more confortable with honestly expressing myself. Express yourself. Your masculine to feminine ratio doesnt say anything about your mannerisms. Dont hide anything in public, or anything from yourself. Life is far too short to care about what people will think of you and how you will be percieved. I welcome people to judge me. Why not? If thinking less of me, will allow them to think better about themselves, then by all means do what you have to do. However, I also have the ability to not care. When I was ignoring any non-masculine mannerism I had, it wasnt right. Choosing to ignore or stay ignorant of aspects of ourselfs is not the sign of someone who "doesnt care". Its the sign of someone who cares to much. Ignorance wont bring contentment. Be yourself, love yourself, and express yourself, because there is absolutely no reason you shouldnt. (*hug*)
Still sometimes it worries me to the point of maybe I'm transgender. Even though I have never thought of that before I came out. Coming out is honestly a hard process
I act girly buts is not something I am comfortable doing in front of my family or anything. It is just who you are and there is nothing wrong with that.
