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Am I just compensating for being lonely?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Skyline, Nov 23, 2012.

  1. Skyline

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    From the very start, I've wondered why I want to cross dress. For right now I'm assuming that it is just an honest interest that is from a part of my personality, but what if that isn't the case?

    I've never had a girlfriend, but I know I really want a girlfriend. I have a strong desire to be close to a girl, and the fact that I have never been able to is often painfully upsetting.

    So then, isn't it possible that in some way I find comfort in making myself more female? I can always be close to myself, so maybe that is the solution my deprived mind came up with; make yourself a female and you'll have your girlfriend.

    That sounds twisted and strange... I know. But it is a legitimate concern I have. Because if it is true--and I only cross dress and impersonate a female is in order to compensate for not having a female in my life--then shouldn't I force myself to stop? Shouldn't I be spending my time meeting new people and dating?

    It's not like I want to stop cross dressing--I really enjoy it. But if it is for the wrong reason then I should be concerned right?

    This is the question I've been wanting to ask you all. I finally got it into words. So, I look forward to your advice! Thanks in advance~
     
  2. you arent doing anything wrong. do what you feel comfortable doing. everyone does things for different reasons..... im not saying you are doing it for the reasons you said, but dont get to bogged down in thinking why you do it.

    does it really matter why you do it? well... it shouldnt do. you arent doing anything wrong at all, so just keep doing what makes you comfortable. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Ettina

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    Those are actually too separate questions.

    If you are dressing as a girl out of loneliness, that doesn't mean you have to stop. It's a coping strategy that works for you, and it doesn't hurt anyone. I mean, some people deal with loneliness by drinking, or by stalking someone, or all sorts of things that are way worse choices than just dressing in women's clothing.

    But if you do feel that you need someone in your life in that way, then you should work on getting that. Because it's important to your well-being.

    I'm assuming you don't spend every moment of every day at home alone trying on women's clothes. It doesn't need to stop you from going out and meeting women.

    If you find a woman you love, then you'll find out whether that makes you no longer want to dress in women's clothes. And if it doesn't, I hope whoever she is, she'll be accepting of that facet of yourself.
     
  4. Bree

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    Why are the reasons you want to cross-dress important? You're not permanently altering yourself, so there's nothing stopping you from playing as much as you want.
     
  5. KarnKahlo

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    I can relate to how you feel. I do things like daydream....A LOT, to cope with being lonely. I think that if it makes you feel happy then there is no reason to be worried! Cross-dressing may help you cope with your other feelings but it also is something fun that you enjoy. So if it makes you happy.....then rock out in a awesome outfit!! :slight_smile:
     
  6. TroubledRyan

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    You may not be compensating for anything.

    In my soc. class, we has a guest speaker. He was a male, he had a wife, but he dressed in a dress. I didn't know he was a man until he talked. He cross dressed very well. He only cross dressed because that is what he felt right to him. His wife had trouble with it at first, but they are good now. So you seriously may not be compensating for anything, you may be doing this just because that is what truely makes you feel good.
     
  7. Skyline

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    Thank you all so much for your replies. I think we're all right; if it is fun for me and isn't hurting anything, what does it matter what the reason is? I'm not wasting all my time with it, and it isn't getting in the way of me looking for a girlfriend. (I'll always be doing that at a slow but steady rate.)


    I honestly think this is pretty likely the case for me. I mean, I still have a lot of self searching to do before I can know for sure, but I can say that it feels right.