Anyone who has followed me on EC will know--I have a vast history of attracting extremely clingy people. =.= I just have a knack for it, even though I myself am pretty antisocial at heart and like my privacy/personal space. The only person I ever fell in love with was the opposite, she was pretty distant and neglectful due to family problems, making it even more of a turn off towards clingy people. I've just GOT to rant about it, because I have no breaks from the clingy people in my life right now and it's mentally exhausting me!! T-T There will be many run on sentences because I've just GOT to get out my frustration!! I just entered college and am finally moving out since my roomie is loud, obnoxiously so, and her and her friends don't respect my privacy and treat it as though it's HER room and I just happen to live there too. My roommate and her friends would come in and out for every little thing, and no matter how many times I would relock the door and had a talk with my roommate about it, it always ends up unlocked again!! People would come in in the morning when I was sleeping and my roomie wasn't even THERE, when I was changing clothes, when I was studying, and when I was already in bed sleeping! I even put a note on the door after requesting the room to myself to have a talk with my girlfriend, and a few seconds later (after the note was written in huge letters), my roomie came back in because she "forgot" something!! :tantrum: She should have thought of that before or waited!! I basically don't need an alarm clock because my girlfriend will just call me to ask if I'm ready for breakfast. This happens at about 11 every morning because my roommate typically goes to bed at 1:30, and even if I go to sleep earlier, she'll just wake me up when she comes in the room! Luckily I'm changing roommates with a girl much nicer and MUCH quieter. My girlfriend herself is a bit too clingy for my taste, constantly asking for all my free time and complaining when I say no, let alone how she hangs all over me and makes me feel awkward in public a lot. It's at the point where I can't turn off my phone anymore and I feel guilty just for taking a nap after my classes when SHE wants to come over and study because her own room is so noisy! She hangs all over me when we're just sitting in a room with other people, and when we're walking she either holds my hand or puts her arm around my waist. If I brush off one of these, she'll do the other. :eusa_doh: And finally, the little girl I babysit that lives across the street won't leave me alone!! I added her on Facebook so she wouldn't be sad when I went away to college with my sister, but now we're both scared to go on Facebook because if she's online, she'll find us and want to chat!! Even if I log on for one second, skim the IM list to see if she's online, and then log off in another two if she is, she notices and calls me on it! She'll go, "Hey! I didn't know you were online!" and then if I give myself away, she'll go "Wait-- u r home??" =.= *cringe* I can't spend every second of free time with my girlfriend at school, and I can't spend every second of free time at HOME with the girl I babysit!! I've TRIED having talks with them and explaining that I need my personal space and to spend time with other people who have been missing me (because of who's been demanding all my free time), but they just don't get it!! I can't ask for my own alone time or turn them down without them sounding disappointed in me or complaining that they feel neglected! And that prompts me to feel like I need to explain myself and make excuses to them, to which they'll just insist that it's okay! :dry: No, it's NOT!! How do I handle this?? I feel fed up with people, and I want my own personal time and privacy back. But at the same time I don't want to feel mean like I'm leaving them out in the cold, or having them get all sulky on me! Is there anything I can do to not give off the impression that people can use me as their human crutch? I can't tell when I first meet them if they'll be clingy, and my parents say I need to change my approach to people. But I don't know how to be a good friend and NOT attract clingy people! HELP!!:help:
Aww i just want to give you a hug right now! (*hug*) I hope that wasn't too clingy... joking ^^ Well it seems like you need to be firmer when you explain to your girlfriend that you need space. What's your version of "trying to explain"? I think you're a 'people pleaser' and let people walk all over you. Stand your ground and be firm. Since communication is the key to a successful relationship, she should be respecting your wishes aswell so it is both of you that need to change. If all else fails with your girlfriend you can just tell her that if she keeps being clingy then you're breaking the relationship off. When you're on facebook and the little girl messages you then just don't respond. People have their facebook's logged on all the time without using it so just say you weren't active at that time. Or I think you can just set your status to offline so you won't show up on chat.
On Facebook, you can change the settings to where you appear offline to the little girl but online to others....I hope your roomchange turns out OK!
